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r/OCPoetry•
Brilliant_Profile_52

Altar of Aphrodite

Poem

Remember when we would be

driving around the city

looking for new

twists and turns-

pleading with the gods to

compel something amazing to happen?

a wish, a kiss in front of the marquee

our names in print for saving the world from itself.

The gods would say "how fortunate to have them there.

so brilliant, so lovely to the core.

She loves him but he doesn't see.

He loves her but she doesn't see."

We kept driving away from the sunrise

almost in a maniacal way to keep

the night from ending

before we had to forsake all for a

wish, a dream under the starshine

drunk on too much merlot in a box

that we didn't really enjoy

because we spent all of our money on gas

and buying a goldfish on a whim.

You offered to drive for awhile

and I saw a look that I hadn't seen before.

Aphrodite saw it months ago of course

-lovesick . . . devoted

and also with a small amount of fear

that I would drain you of being yourself

by forcing you to kneel

at the altar of Aphrodite.

The thunderbolt had been thrown

in the most graceful way

so it could not be undone

My heart continues to be still - 

blinded by the glitter of

one streetlight gaze

​

​

Satellites & Stars

Digital Fossils

Posted Feb 10, 2022, 1:58 AM UTC

65
benspaperclip•

"the glitter of one streetlight gaze" - I got chills! There really is something special about looking into someone's eyes in that unique streetlight-through-car-window lighting. That line really grabbed me.

I really enjoyed this poem. I liked the connection to the Greek gods and their watching and meddling and all-knowing judgement, and I appreciated how well you described the way two people can get totally caught up in the moment that they don't recognize their own feelings until they've already shown themselves.

I don't have any criticism- lovely poem!

3
Brilliant_Profile_52OP•

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your thoughts. Always helpful to see how other people see your poems.

1
TemperatureOk6380•

I think you captured a beautiful sentiment with the placement of the line “she loves him but he doesn’t see. He loves her but she doesn’t see.” It perfectly describes the moment and the feeling before two people would share that streetlight glaze and realize they are in love. Atleast that’s what I fealt when I read it.

2
Brilliant_Profile_52OP•

Your feelings are valid. Thanks for sharing them. I appreciate it so much.

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