Source
r/consulting•
DeadDoug

Mixing friends and business, what do I do?

I'm in a tough spot and not sure what to do. (let me also say this is real first world problem shit, I know)

Earlier this week I accepted a job with a new company that is smaller than my current company. I'll have a new job title and i'll be making more money than I am currently. The company I am going to is smaller and the President is a former colleague of mine and someone I consider a friend.

When I went to resign my position, my CURRENT company made me an obscene offer to stay with them. They aren't going to change my job title but are offering me FIFTY THOUSAND (!!!)($50,000) more dollars per year in base salary to stay than what the new place offered.

So the question is this: Do I keep my word to my friend and take less money? Or do I "stab him in the back" and take 50 thousand more per year? The smaller company I am going to is not in a position to match the obscene offer I was made.

What say you?

Posted Feb 10, 2022, 9:44 PM UTC

4018
krsparetime•

Talk to your friend. Let him know what happened and that you are torn. Let that guide your conversation.

86
bmore_conslutantbig 4 mc•

good advice, solid chance you tell your friend about the $50k and he responds "well wtf are you waiting for take the money"

61
JainaWoW•

It's generally problematic to work for a friend. It is most definitely problematic if every second of working for them is overshadowed by $50,000p.a. of opportunity costs that will hang over your head like the Sword of Damocles about to drop at any altercation between you two. You're obviously not in a financial position where you can comfortable disregard the money. Explain the situation to your friend, and accept the offer.

61
KeyWeb2545•

If they are offering you $50k more to keep you then they’ve been getting away with paying you much less than they could (for how long?!)

What I’d do is look for something that pays 75k more. You’re obviously worth it…

40
DeadDougOPCRM & ERP•

I joined this company only 1.5 years ago so they haven't been getting away with it for too long haha :)

25
sugarii•

Also make sure you get it in writing first!

7
Mambutu_O_MalleyDeloitte -> Boutique•

If that person is truly a friend, they would be ok with you taking an increase like that.

That said, I’d never accept a counteroffer. You might get 50k more now, but it may be a stopgap for them to find your replacement. How otherwise are they going to fuck me by keeping me on?

21
bmore_conslutantbig 4 mc•

may be a stopgap for them to find your replacement

emphasis on "may"

i've seen it go both ways, including someone who was paid a fat retention bonus to not take a job at a client and shortly after invited into the partnership

20
[deleted]•

[deleted]

1
waxon_waxoff33•

I think an important consideration here is whether you will be happy staying at your current firm or not, ignoring the money for a moment. This is a significant pay increase, but if you are willing to leave right now, then chances are you will feel that way again.

Mind you, if part of your long term plan is to move between firms anyhow, then staying is probably the right thing to do.

But considering you were leaving for a smaller firm, I am assuming there was something appealing about that to you beyond pay. More flexibility? Faster path to a leadership position? Not sure. Your current firm can already do better than match the pay, but what about the rest of it?

13
WhichSpirit•

Tell your friend what happened. Make it clear you don't expect them to match the offer. Ask them what they think about it.

Also, keep in mind that, even if you accept the counter offer, your company is now looking to replace you.

6
SmallBusinessSupportDrucker Disciple•

I know a guy whose boss gave him 40% raise to stay when he handed in his letter… it was a no-brained it would seem… so the guy rejects his new offer and takes the money to stay…

…the boss gives it a few months, long enough that the other position was filled… and begins setting him up to get let go (impossible objectives, doomed projects, etc) …

According to the boss in his termination letter, he just couldn’t keep up with the demands of his increased position…

Never look back.

Just sayin’…

9
Theycallmelife•

Less vertical potential for up-front cash. Your current workplace is trying to seduce you with golden-handcuffs. Go for the smaller firm. You’ll make more in the long run being a bigger fish in a smaller pond.

5
[deleted]•

You aren’t back stabbing your friend, they will likely just find another candidate.

3
ParmyBarmy•

If he is your friend, then you should be honest tell exactly what has happened and take it from there. Nothing you are telling them is remotely controversial.

2
[deleted]•

[removed]

2
sshan•

If a friend said that to me I’d tell them to take the 50k

2
marcocom•

Tell your friend about the counter, see if he wants to match it, and whatever extra he adds on, take it.

1
RedditersHaveNoChill•

I don’t know any friends who would be mad over $50,000. Just saying. I mean, this assumes you all are average people who actually need jobs and you like your current job enough to stay. Also you don’t want to work for friends. It gets weird easily.

1
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