Love the short lines and overall structure. Good repetition of “make it through these ones” I especially like how it goes from a thought to the speaker actually speaking to the “You” in the poem or even the audience. The message is relatable

I like this, just some minor notes for the flow and wording, I think it would have felt more natural to put “Tick tok, Tick tok” it has a bit more repetition to emphasize the monotony and is a more common phrase than tick tick tock, and I think 4 syllables fits better on that line. I also think the next line could have been “Just make it through this one” 
and the second to last line could be “You’ll make it through these” I know this would make it so you lose the rhyme scheme/repetition of “ones” at the end of the lines but I think every other line rhyming on the last 4 lines is strong enough and the way I phrased it feels like a more natural/common way to say these phrases to me. But again, thats just my opinion on some minor things, the idea you have here is strong, I really liked it overall good job.


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I was reading this and I enjoyed it very much. Time can be an anxious concept, as can the days to come! But like in your poem, upcoming days will be nothing all of us can handle, we've done them before!

I love the simplicity in the piece. You do a good job of making your point that “we take things 24 hours at a time.” Hell…sometimes you take things 1 hour at a time. 

The lines “this hour, the next // tick tock, tick tock” really sell the image of someone just putting their head down and moving through the hours by sheer will. It’s often the best way to get through a rough patch. Just push forward, a step at a time. Eventually  you’ll look up and see you’re on the other side of it

Good stuff!

Wrote this today while feeling stressed and anxious
___________________________________

— Twenty-Four —

The day drags on

it just won’t stop

This hour, the next,

Tick tock, tick tock

“Just make it through these ones

… and then twenty-four more”

You’ll make it through these ones

You’ve done it before
__________________________________

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/t3tm2l/i_would_have_given_you_the_world/hyvaj07/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/t3wsi7/waltzing_to_lady_bug_jazz_tunes_twenties_alive/hyvb39i/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3