[WP] Aliens are afraid of humans as a whole, but what's not as clear as why they are afraid of certain countries.
Why are they afraid of your country, or what country are they most afraid of and why?
Posted Mar 10, 2022, 7:22 AM UTC
396160
Australia. They know that the only safe things are some of the sheep.
And they're worried about them too.
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Isthatamotherfuckingdiscworldreference
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I assumed it was a sheep fucking NZ reference
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You think we could petition to get our name changed to Four Eckks?
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Only if you change the name of Sydney to Didjabringabeeralong.
12
Agreed. Good on a brit for teaching people dangers of drop bears.
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reason -> https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrek_(sheep) know for: avoiding capture
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The Netherlands. Initially they were afraid due to a mistranslation, thinking we are from the afterlife/hell. Then the "half of the Netherlands is below sea level" factoid led to them assuming were sea monsters in disguise. Now they fear us for being really tall.
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This one might be my favorite so far. So glad I posted this.
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Poland and every other slavic country: impossible alcohol tolerance.
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The aliens were given fair wanting not to go to the Balkans.
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Poland is pretty far from the Balkans tbh
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Maybe they got the Baltics and Balkans confused?
I know for the longest time when I was a kid I CONSTANTLY got Cambodia and Colombia mixed up
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Even Polish people confuse the baltics and balkans, so it’s not a biggie
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I thought the Balkans we're Slavic
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Maybe? But slavic countries aren’t Balkan.
Though I’m pretty sure that „Balkan” regards an area and „Slavic” an ethnicity
5
America. It’s not the absurd amount of guns they fear. It’s McDonalds. The most aggressive intergalactic corporation to ever exist. They expand like a plague, bringing terrible service and subpar unhealthy food wherever they go.
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Let's not even talk about they're employee treatment.
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that's how they get the terrible service
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not just the golden arches, they fear American Capitalism in general. ruthless in growth, efficiency and expansion.
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Ah, the American embassy
27
In 2030 when the aliens arrived, the McDonald's double arches were the most recognizable symbol on the planet. By 2050, the same was true of the universe.
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Then following that there's the Philippines with its own agresive corporation, Jollybee
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Canada.
The GEESE!
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aliens arent ready for geese
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Nobody is ready for the thrice damned Canadian murder chicken. It's why we're all normally fairly polite to each other; you never know when your life may depend on a stranger holding a door that one second longer for you to slip inside before closing it to seal out the murderous foul fowl
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Nobody is ready for geese
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Also the temperamental weather and Temperatures.
Aliens have to be prepared for a huge swing in both
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Also -- don't go disparaging hockey.
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The hissing cobra chickens terrify us all
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They're afraid of Her Majesty the Queen - legend says she has ruled since the beginning of time, and will be there even on the Final Day. xD
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They fear the French even more for their unabashed hatred of Britain
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As a result, drinking tea while eating a croissant is seen as practical suicide, despite no humans actually caring
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Vatican City. Like human reproduction and mating rituals are weird enough as they it is, but holy grokh, wtf is going on there? How have they not gone extinct yet?
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I plead the fifth on the latter.
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North Korea for obvious reason. I can't think of a nation more hostile to outside governments. Of course this would only apply to those who see through that nations BS propaganda. Could totally see Nk trying to trick aliens into fighting anyone they hate.
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Just show the aliens The Interview and I dont think we'll need to worry that much.
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Pfffff. I forgot about that movie! XD
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Lucky. I wish I could forget.
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Lol. I have shit memory. My friends have compared it to a goldfish or SQUIRREL!
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Ireland, we can live of minimum potatoes
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Dear God...
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It is impossible to starve us out
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What happens if you run out of alcohol?
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Probably find a way to make more?
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Worst hangover I ever had was Irish potato vodka.
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I’m from Scotland more specifically Glasgow we have no guns here but we have one of the worlds highest murder rates… I think that might answer it
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During ww2 the Scots were known as the Ladies from Hell and German soldiers occasionally surrendered en masse as soon as they heard the bagpipes coming. Imagine being an alien fleet receiving an incoming transmission and it's just Scotland the Brave played on a hundred bagpipes.
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Glorious speaking of world war 2 ever heard of mad jack?
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Yes, and I can see him as an inspiration for this thread. Keep 'em guessing and off balance, yeah?
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Was that the captain who charged in with a claymore sword?
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And bagpipes, wearing a big grin on his face because "people are less likely to hit you if you're smiling at them"
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Din’t forget the Bow and Bagpipes
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"Trust me Scelsec, you do not want negotiations to fall through with us."
"Is that a threat?"
"Not a threat, just a warning."
"We have our demands Mr. Meyer. If you will not meet them, then it will be war."
"Very well. I'll transfer the call over to the scots then, since I figure they'll be happy to be the doorman."
"Wait no, I take it back! I'll take the deal!"
"That's more like it."
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Pretty sure the “Ladies from hell” thing was ww1 but yea they definitely called em that
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Hungary, they don't know how stubborn we can be. They can conquer us but get ready for a revolution at any time
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We grant you the title of honorary balkan
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Fear the youth. No one smells weakness as good as teenagers do and, as Hungarian history proved, young adults can and WILL have revolution after revolution until they will leave.
And let's not forget the fact that (under a certain age) youngsters have NO FEAR RESPONSE. They just cannot feal fear.
The shear amount of capsaicin (thing that makes things spicy) they use in meals is just the cherry on top. And we don't talk about the chocolate and the sprinkles.
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There are good reasons to be afraid of most countries. Even if the country has like free healthcare there are gonna be scary assholes and raging dumbasses even if their country has good education. Humans are mean and scary and kind and tough and why this sub was made
37
While this is true, I was more drawing from the idea that aliens would be just as susceptible to creating and believing stereotypes as anyone else, while also being tricked by fictions, thus making some countries absolutely terrifying in particular (maybe they think Austria is a nation of assassin's because they bought into the idea that Glock makes guns that dodge metal detectors(they don't)).
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Yeah humans are pretty good at that. Sorry for ruining the vibe, my brain has been soup/neg for the past like hours
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Nah it's fine. I take whatever vibes I'm given and make the most of it.
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I think Austria could easily be considered a nation of spies. After all, we were, and as far as I know still are, the espionage capital of the world for the simple fact, that espionage is fully legal here, as long as it is not directed at Austria.
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Ngl that's kinda badass.
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[deleted]
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India , the impossibly high capsaicin tolarence
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Ability to ingest and enjoy substances poisonous to most species.
Ability to breed to a point they create the highest population.
Ability to survive without meat in diet.
Good at maths and IT stuff
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Mexico called, they want to cook dinner together and share capsaicin laced sweets and drinks with you.
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Aight come on in amigos let's partyyy
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Because the Vogons collected all of the call centre staff before earth was destroyed.
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Germany
Þey Read a history book
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I am of the opinion that our first railgun should follow the naming conventions of the largest guns ever made such as the Gustav.
Thank you Germany, for making several guns so large they needed rails to move.
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So we already have a working rail-gun lol
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Lol nice
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now to the rail²gun
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Not to forget Joergsprave
"Let Me show you it's features"laughs diabolically
1
Argentina - we have stereotypes of city-folk being excellent thiefs, and a voracious love for meat. So i'd wager the first volunteer from here some aliens recieved to their mixed batallion proved himself by climbing 7 floors of chain fenced balconies in an apartment block, stabbed an enemy sniper, stole his wallet and upon seeing biohorror experiments that had escaped from the lab with the chaos, immediately asked if they are edible and what they taste like.
And yes, the apartment block climbers happen occasionally. I'd post a link but i'm on mobile.
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I believe you. It sounds significantly easier than scaling u.s. skyscrapers, which I have seen done
3
Netherlands here.
Do I even need to say anything? If not for Britain and some stupid mistakes involving trading away the New World, we would've colonised the whole planet.AND THAT WAS 100 YEARS AGO.
We are one of the smallest countries on the world, and yet are found everywhere you look; from basic advertising and last names to global waterworks, information trading and world-wide export.
All aliens would see is an enormous fleet of country-sized battleships floating above their heads in space, and before their planet falls to the Terran Empire, they would hear an incoming message containing one word, and one word only;
G E K O L O N I S E E R D.
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Puts link to relative xkcd What If question
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Greece We are in the balkans do i need to elaborate?
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United States, but I live in Florida.
Need I say more?
Edit: I live in Southeast Florida, and while there are problems with opiate abuse, it's not as "Florida Man" here.
I do predict a problem if they go into central Florida, the Panhandle, or parts of Miami near Little Havana.
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Brazil. They'd do anything for a meme, aren't scared of anything, have 5011 PhDs in redneck engendering (r/gambiarra), will set anything on fire and have little fear of wildlife.
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And that's before the aliens watch the movie.
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Which movie?
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Brazil
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Afghanistan.
It is known as the "Graveyard of Empires." No one would have guessed this applies to galactic empires as well.
Oooh that's good
Greece We are in the balkans do i need to elaborate?
not in the slightest. the balkans are basically off limits to aliens for their own safety
Afganistam is seen by some as the graveyard of empires the balkans are viewed by all as the clusterfuck that we are hence the term balkanise
laughs in Macedonian/Mughal