Like she did

Ay! First comment, anyway I find this poem really intersting like how drastically the essence of the poem changes from the start to the end. But how it changed from a lovey-dovey melody to gruesome trauma seemed rather swift, really creative the way you put it. Also I like how the tone of the poem keeps changing throughout. Overall great work!

Interesting poem. It starts off like a love poem, but quickly turns into something much darker. I'm assuming it was inspired, at least in part by the infamous and unsolved Black Dahlia murder. Elizabeth Short, a beautiful young woman, better knows as the Black Dahlia, was murdered and butchered in the most horrible way back in 1947. This seems like a poem written by her killer as he wistfully remembers her murder. Very dark, but very gripping as well.

I find this work very very fascinating. It starts as a simple poem about love but then it gradually becomes darker as you read on it further and further. I assume it was inspired in some way and i can totally say that you really made it work. The ideas are clear and i can really understand what it meant in it's entirety. It's a great work and i will be returning to your posts hungry for more.

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I think this poem has a compelling tone which pulls the reader in and leaves them fascinated by Dahlia. I love the visceral imagery that you use like "finger in eyelid" and the image of a woman bidding on you in an auction that she put you in. Both examples are easy to picture and evoke feelings of discomfort. The poem lacks a clear rhyme scheme but still contains some rhyming stanzas which adds to the charm. I would work on using fewer so's or unnecessary words . Overall I enjoyed this poem and thought it had a mysterious compelling tone, strong examples and I like that you ended on a question.

I, too, thought of the Black Dahlia murders. When I began reading this, I started reading it as an “I miss you poem” - regretting not having Dahlia next to the writer. I can almost feel that loss. Not having someone by your side who you trusted and felt loved by.

Then, the poem took a seemingly eerie turn, “can you put your finger in between my eyelid, keep me awake like dahlia did?” Ouch. But at this point, I was still trying to find the romance in that. Then by the leave me on the read, I started to get it. Not only is this a story of a love loss, but a loss of the hope of love. Making that initial connection and granting that emotional trust, just to have it stolen. Searching for their conciliation, yet only becoming more hurt. “Made me pay the ransom, put me on the auction” not only are being given away, but sold for profit. And not even that, but you have to be held responsible. Now another mood shift. How I read it, correct me if I’m wrong, but now we start talking about who the letter is written to. This new ‘love’, which is pleasing and good, but something about Dahlia not being there… something missing. Something broken. But still, dahlia tortures with that grim twist at the end. I also appreciate the informality of the writing. “u” and “dahlia” not being capitalized. It feels like a text, but still poetic in diction. I appreciate this. This is a poem I’ll be looking back to. Fascinating. Keep up the good work

This was very good and kind of creepily morbid the way that paints a very vivid image but like the beginning was like -cute but red flags- and the end doesn’t disappoint. It’s very fascinating to read.

A morbid yet entertaining story.

My only criticism is some of the lines seem a little long (and some are a little short). I don't care about that but other people might.

Good job

Is this about an abusive relationship? It's sort of romantic and dark and scary at the same time. Dahlia is an interesting name choice

Is Dahlia a girl's name? Does that mean it's a male that is speaking the poem?

Favorite line: make the knife shine in the mist.