The bodybuilder is at his gym, and he says a disparaging remark about The Queen. 100 corgis suddenly appear, and the gym magically seals shut until one side is dead. The bodybuilder is in standard workout attire, and can use any equipment found in a weightlifting gym to defend and attack. Who will win?
Thanks to u/arkain123 for the idea.
Posted Mar 24, 2022, 3:57 PM UTC
[removed]
#neverforgetthecorgos
Corgi owner here, although mine is smøl and very sweet and would never attack anyone.
If these corgs were magically Queenlusted and all 100 attacked at once (or as many as could fit around him at once) they'd be able to take him down easily.
AFAIK, they don't have the best bite strength; they were bred for nipping at livestock to herd them, not to kill or hunt anything. But since they're anklebiters, they'd swarm Bodybuilder and damage his calves/ankles, and he'd hit the ground. Once there, they'd probably go after his arms and face, done.
Yeah if he hits the floor he dies from being swarmed. If he's able to get on top of something or use a bar to keep them at bay he could pick them off one by one.
Honestly, I think effectively swarming might be a problem for the corgis. They have a big footprint for their overall size and power, and they couldn't climb over one another to reach the bodybuilder, so they're gonna be limited to attacking with however many corgis can all squeeze in around his feet.
If the body builder is kicking and stomping, they can create even more difficulty and chaos. I also just realized the fight takes place in a gym, so the bodybuilder has access to tons of weapons. Corgis are sturdy, but they're not exactly difficult for even an average human to incapacitate. Even if the bodybuilder used one of the corgis as a club, they should be able to get enough room to clean up without too much difficulty.
Plus, the bodybuilder can climb
They are pretty powerful for their size in terms of pulling strength at least.
[deleted]
I think that's dependent. A bodybuilding may have zero combat skills and zero common sense, in which case he's doomed. On the other hand there's likely plenty of equipment he can get on where the corgis can't reach him at all and he can swing a weight bar at his leisure, making it an easy win.
It also depends on his pain tolerance in my first scenario. I would think there's next to zero chance of a corgi severing an artery, but a dozen small dogs latched onto your legs would be pretty painful. In the case of both bloodlusted, bodybuilder wins, no contest.
On second thought, I'm not even sure how the corgis win, they don't exactly have the strength to shred him or cause serious wounds.
Apparently the old torture method "Death by 1000 Cuts" (or even 100 cuts) only takes 15-20 minutes. I have no doubt that if 100 Corgis inflict hundreds of bleeding wounds, it'll be a problem for the guy no matter how powerful their bite is.
That page states that it was dependent. It could also take days and was sometimes called "death by division", so it was actual removal of body parts and much more serious wounds. They were also tied down, not fighting back. Only a dozen or so corgis could engage at any given time as well.
They were also tied down, not fighting back. Only a dozen or so corgis could engage at any given time as well.
To me that boosts the Corgis chances even still, fighting back is exhausting. This is not just a brute force thing but also an endurance thing. Exhausting yourself with dozens of small bite wounds against dozens of dogs at a time with presumably no rest? I guess it also depends on how quickly one would be able to dispatch of the Corgi in the first place, but I think people are underestimating the stamina required to dispatch of a literal horde of animals, even if they are small. And how easily a dog dies (especially when cornered and also fighting for their lives).
And if you trip over one of the hundreds of dogs and end up on the ground and they go for your eyes you're fucked.
I could be wrong tho.
To me that boosts the Corgis chances even still, fighting back is exhausting.
I don't really understand what you mean here. Fighting back is the only way to not die here, so it inherently decreases the corgi's chances. I think the biggest advantage comes down to human reasoning. In a full gym, there are going to be numerous places accessible to a human and not medium-small dogs. With no weapons, I'd say it certainly is the corgis' fight to lose. A single solid thwack and, they may not be dead, but they're no longer a threat.
Endurance is a really good point. Even swinging an empty barbell a hundred times would be a lot of work. But if the bodybuilder is even moderately intelligent I think he wins handily.
I mentioned above that corgis are anklebiters. All they have to do is keep bitting and shredding his calves and ankles and after a minute he won't be able to stand.
I do see the point you're making, but just standing an a corner and swinging a barbell goes a heck of a long way to mitigate that. It's not like he's just going to stand around in the middle of the room.
Also depends on mindset.
I'm not a body builder but the thought of crushing hundreds of corgis to death with weight lifting equipment is... Not a happy thought for me
"Bodybuilder loses because even if he's strong enough to kill the dogs, he doesn't have the emotional strength to cope with what he's done."
No, not a happy thought at all, but it's you or them.
The problem here is that the bodybuilder's stamina no matter how impressive wont be good enough for a 100 corgis. a 100 corgis are in fact a lot of dogs. say it takes about 2 minuites to put each one down, thats nearly 120 minuites of intesive corgi fighting, and a even a body builder would be nearing exhaustion at that point. Since this isnt even a one after the other time event, i dont see how the body builder would be able fight for long enough to win.
I'd be shocked if it took 2 minutes a piece. A bar will crush a dog's spine in a single swing...But your point is valid.
2 minutes? It’s just a barbell strike anywhere on the body and they’re out.
Takes a lot of stamina to swing a 45 pound barbell over and over
I imagine the bodybuilder would thrust more, which would be easier. Also, could climb on top of something like a soda machine and just thrust down at their skulls, or he could swing a couple times, pop an energy drink and get back to it.
True. If the body builder has access to any surface 4+ feet off the ground it’s essentially over for the corgis
2 minutes a piece? What is he fighting them with, pillows? 1-2 hits and each corgi is dead.
100 high energy, working dogs.
I've been told that corgis are "big dogs in a medium body" and I've found that to be 100% true.
The gym I used to go to had a high front desk where they sold power bars and specialty beverages. If he got up there with a makeshift weapon the dogs wouldn't be able to follow and he could take as long as he wants.
Where'd you get 2 minutes from? A bodybuilder could probably snap their necks pretty quickly.
I use a corgi mod in Skyrim and my dragon battles consists of my dragonborn firing an arrow or two while my faithful corgi (Gladys) gradually wears it down. Afterwards one of the other companions always compliments me on my skill with the bow.
in my experience if the bodybuilder has even a single treato in his pocket he's going down
Body builder slaps
What's stopping him from just climbing on top of the lockers or sitting on the pull up bar?
Body builders are not optimized for any activity outside of posing. Ronnie Coleman couldn't walk up the stairs without getting winded because his 325lbs frame was too much for his organs.
The dogs are far from optimized themselves but they still have teeth and powerful jaws so they take it.
I don't think I'd call anything about a Corgi powerful. Vicious yes, powerful no
They can still bite hard as fuck if they are out for blood. They are ratters by design which means they snap rats in half. If they can snap a rat they can take a finger or loose a major artery.
The overly vascular physique of a bodybuilder is just an opportunity for the Corgi Legion.
Their low center of gravity makes them very good at pulling. Corgis are stronger than they look.
And they've got sharp teeth.
His legs are damaged now but surely he could walk up stairs in his prime? His signature was doing barbell lunges in the parking lot.
The Corgi's are so fucked.
The bodybuilder is in his home element. In one example of many, go to any power cage, pull up to the top of the bar and be out of reach of the Corgi's, but have access to the 45lb heavy bar without weights in it and use to crush their ... omg i can't even type it they are too cute.
Corgis are not very threatening. But 100 is a lot. Depends if they're bloodlusted.
Normal corgi personality, bodybuilder wins by killing a few and using 2 of their bodies as swinging weapons, 7/10
Bloodlusted, corgies win 9/10
You mean queenlusted
That’s assumed. I mean, the queen is one hot piece of ass
Corgis win just because of stamina/the amount of them.
Bodybuilders usually have awful cardio. He’d be out of commission in like 5 mins tops.
you realize bodybuilders do more cardio than the standard joe?
Doesn’t matter. It’s a function of having too much muscle to feed.
What lol
If you’re 250+ lbs it doesn’t matter how much cardio you do, you’re going to gas out fairly quickly. It’s just too much muscle to feed with oxygen to have good cardio.
If you look at MMA, which is super cardio intensive, most of the best heavyweights ever have been about 230-240 even though the upper limit of that division is 265.
What do you need cardio for when climbing on something and using an empty barbell like a spear (even easier, actually, because gravity is helping) is going to be almost entirely the chest and triceps? Even an olympic bar is only 45 pounds. No part of it would be pleasant, and their ankles would still be hurting for a while, but per the prompt it's not exactly difficult.
It's an adorable version of Dynasty Warriors.
The Corgis should not pursue Lu Bu.
I see it going down like this... Bodybuilder says disparaging remark, suddenly lights go out and it's pitch black. When the lights turn back on a swarm of 100 Corgis are growling at him from across the gym. Freaked out, the weight lifter quickly grabs the closest thing to him which happened to be two 15lb dumbbells. The pack sees this as a threat and charges! He starts smacking corgis smashing them with the weights, and they get a few good bloody bites in. The weight lifter has killed a good 6-7 corgis, but he realizes they have the upper hand and he can't keep this up for long. He opens the door into the pool area and cannonballs into the deep end. The corgis are reluctant to jump in because they aren't great swimmers due to their body proportions. They're barking around the edge of the pool as the weight lifter is slowly bleeding out. Eventually the corgis work up the courage to jump in. Weightlifter is now surrounded, outnumbered, and out of his element because he's in water. The corgis end up biting him up as he tries his best to defend himself in the pool, killing a few more corgis as he inevitably meets his fate.
Body builder ends up bloody, but wins 99/100
Take the lightweight barbell that's like 15 kg and you basically have a weapon that can take out corgis in 1-2 swings and is lightweight enough to be reasonably manouerable. Bodybuilder takes this mid difficulty.
The body builder can definitely make the scenario something winnable. Just climb up the front desk with a bar or something and bat away corgis that get close.
If the Corgis are bloodlusted they win. I work with dogs and I can tell you that if one REALLY wants to hurt you, then will seriously hurt you. I've had a chunk of my pinky taken out by a JRT which is smaller than a Corgi. In the blink of an eye. I reacted quickly otherwise he probably would have gotten more.
How many of the Corgis are data dogs like Ein?
If he can climb on top of some of the machines or benches, he can use a weight bar as a mace to crush them.
That's an image I'm not going to be able to shake
Too bad! I can absolutely shake it like my Creamy vanilla MET-Rx RTD 51 Protein Shake!
https://youtu.be/qRuNxHqwazs
Queue the split dog sounds from Return of the Living Dead
With good form?
Lmao 🤣 a mess no one wants to clean up