[1,010] Urban Fantasy Opener

Hi all,

I have 1K left on a previous critique expiring soon, and would love to get thoughts on a new project I’m working on! It’s an urban fantasy with elemental magic, and this would be the opening chapter.

I realize my biggest area of improvement is getting more characterization in the narrative of the MC here doesn’t feel like a floating head, rattling off his actions. It's my first stab at a fantasy as I’m trying to stretch my writing muscles here, and I’m nervous about throwing too much world building at the reader all at once.

As always, also looking for general mechanic, pacing, prose feedback and anything else you’d like to address!

Link to excerpt: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KIRkcMnr7nd7uThGrlwv2rXTErd4tbLl5UhOzqxUEfk/edit?usp=sharing

Previous Critique [3126] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/rzh7bg/comment/hscmizb/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 [Mods, if I need to do another crit, let me know!]

Previous Post [1890] https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/saxc2j/1890_opening_chapter_of_novel/