I think the poem captures the feeling of yearning for simple and genuine human connections while being constantly deceived by appearances in the world. It also somewhat references the feeling of getting close to people only to realise that its unbearable and that you are better at a distance which is usually avoidance.

Contort my weary heart evokes a really strong image and is probably my favourite line of the poem.
I think the poem is great as it is however if I had one criticism then it would be that it ends on a rather pessimistic note. Once one's notion of authenticity in relationships is destroyed or they are disillusioned by how fake the world actually is, to still pick up the pieces of that destroyed illusion and try to move towards genuine relationships (while guarding yourself enough to not get Destroyed) takes a lot of courage and is a picture I would have loved.

The line breaks and punctuation are effective in achieving a well paced and enjoyable to read poem.

This poem is also a successfully love poem. For me, it manages to do this through the pacing and through it's gentle introspective tone.

I enjoy its simplicity.

I am debating whether the conflicting emotions are intentional. The speaker seems to be angry at being deceived by the person's real character but at the same time wonders if they ever knew the person truly. The two ideas aren't paradoxical, therefore, I assume this is an internal non-binary emotion that remains as the speaker looks back over the relationship.

I enjoy the imperative tone which creates a bitter voice, until the end where the speaker seems to pose the idea as a possibility (linking back to my earlier point).

Thank you.

Aloha Your poem left me with this haunting imagery. . . 
One left the costume/masquerade ball before the reveal last waltz thus never knowing that the Other is suffering from a worse curse. . . 
I like your poem it's inspiring mahalo.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

>I think there is too much drama and sentimentalism. I 

You're welcome. Did something happen to you? Or is it only expression? Are you okay? Poem is where you can play with reality. You can create things that didn't happen. Maybe you'll (the persona) have to break off his/her skull, so you can get to know him/her.

Yes, one might feel a bit resigned and have lowered self-esteem after experiencing such betrayal. Revenge and ire are not motivating factors, but rather a contemplation of what transpired is. Thank you for your feedback.

The lyrical subject is confused! He/she seems surprised, but resignated. He/she looks like someone with low self-esteem. I think there is too much drama and sentimentalism. I miss some bravery at the end of the poem or something like revenge or ire.

pulled the rug out from under me, 

though I shouldn’t be surprised.

it was only a matter of time

before I saw behind your guise.

foolishly naive, a captive to your spell,

an easy mark, swift and hard I fell.

while our journey was short,

the torment is enough 

to contort my weary heart 

into further fortifying its port.

I can’t believe I yearned 

for solely your disguise,

I guess I’ll never know 

who it is behind those eyes.



Feedback: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/tytc2e/first_time_im_sharing_my_poetry_with_anyone/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/tz4izb/twitterpated/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf

Knowing You