i’ve recently been struggling with feeling like i own way to much (despite barely owning anything/owning a below average amount). i just feel like i don’t want to be like my mother and be materialistic. the thought of it makes me feel gross. i want to have enough that I can put it all in a car and go
Posted Apr 10, 2022, 2:57 PM UTC
It's very common. Most of us are just 2-3 generations removed from relatives who had to struggle through famines, wars and economic depressions so the urge to horde and preserve is taught from a very young age. Cloud storage has only come ubiquitous in recent years, and I would imagine that many of us (myself included) have yet to feel 100% comfortable entrusting all of our personal data to Microsoft or Google.
My parents were similar to yours, and it was really my leading by example that caused them to rethink things. They still hold on to a lot of stuff that they don't really need, but long gone are the days where their closets and crawlspaces are filled up with boxed up dishes, linens, etc.
As always, every individual has to find the balance that makes them comfortable. I'm happy as long as my living space is clutter free (e.g. everything I own fits in a drawer, closet, under furniture, etc.). If you feel it necessary to be 100% portable then it's a goal worth working towards. Hopefully you own a car with a decent amount of storage space.
I'm a grandchild of hoarding as a learned behavior due to Great Depression.
Also we are in an area that made floppies and magnetic hard-drives self-randomize so I'm kinda in a mode where paper is the only long-term information-storage that is ragnorok-proof.
having a hoarding problem is much more than just being materialistic. also the fact that you are aware that you do NOT want to be like your mom is already the first step in the right direction. Don’t be too hard on yourself
We are AND are not our parents. You seem to already have the mentality that stuff is just stuff. Maybe your mom doesn’t have that mentality? It’s okay for you to have a little extra right now because you are aware that if you needed to move across town or across the country that you could shed the excess at any time. THAT is the minimalist mindset.
I'm going through a 7 year relationship break up and have had to last week urgently move my cat and I.
I now own 2 large boxes of stuff, a cat tree and a suitcase.
i've been feeling the same lately, i even noticed i started keeping things "just in case" again 🥴 definitely relate to the gross feeling but i'm snapping out of it and she isn't so we're good
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My mom liked to shop and kept a lot of stuff. My room growing up was tiny and I had too much. I hated clothes on the floor and piled up in my closet. I try now to fold all of my clothes, organize my favorite small possessions like crystals, a few books, and life long kept stuffed animals. My partner likes having a lot of stuff though. I just organize it the best I can. When I'm working out near a national park for the summer, I bring only my few favorite items, a few assorted outfits, 3 pairs of shoes, and my camping stuff. The minimalism away from home is a nice break tbh. But I recently got a fish, so I might have to work that out lol
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It sounds like you are still traumatized by your upbringing. It makes sense to want to go the complete opposite way and keep close to nothing but remember that both extremes can be a sign of being in a bad place mentally. Minimalism can be a great tool but only if you actually keep what you need and can appreciate what you have.
My mother used to always keep too many "useful" things and it gave me the urge to declutter all the time. It took me a while to realize that was started off as being necessary became a compulsion. I don't know your situation but there are ressources on r/childofhoarder