[437] URBAN GODS first scene (revised)

Hi marvellous people

I've been doing a pile of rewriting of my YA romantic contemporary fantasy and I thought I'd post this to see if I'm going in the right direction. Link: Urban Gods first scene

First scene, first chapter, it's short, about a page and a half. The bit that has to draw readers in. I chopped off the first half of my old first chapter (Tristan coming to his new school, fight scene) and threw it away. I flipped the pov for this to CJ instead of Tristan, and I think it works better.

Questions: Not much happens, they're just talking. Do you want more action? Currently this scene is the aftermath of action, is it clear enough what's happened?

Can you see any possible spots to strengthen anything? Verbs, more active, connected descriptions. Line edits welcomed - comments on the side greatly preferred, or comments here.

Anything else that needs clarifying? (Jordan gets explained more in Chapter 2, he's just a minor subplot character).

And generally, is it an ok way to start?

Crits: [500] Morso ; [3374] The Death Touch