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Mature for my age was also written with abusive parents in mind, I'm so glad you liked it! Your poem is very beautiful too.

hi I'm so sorry for replying late i was in the middle of my exams btw i love your poem Mature for your age the poem you wrote was absolutely incredible everything i ever felt throughout my life you put it into words so thank you for that i want to write your poem on a piece of paper and put it on my wall

it happy to know that i wrote something that was relatable and you related to my poem and because this poem is about abusive parents i hope you know that life will not always be this hard there will be moments that you will enjoy life and remember you are a strong person that had a rough time but and the end you're stronger that ever

This is hit me close to home. It's so deep yet straightforward. I love it. Parental abuse is almost never shown, always buried under a layer of fake smiles and affirmation that mean nothing.

>now look closer past my perfectly cut hair 

>there's a scar in my brain 

>from their love that hurt more than whips and lashes ever could


I love these lines, on a very personal level. Not only do they fit well together from a poetry perspective but also from an emotional one.

And now I read your poem again and I liked it more ^^

hii i was in the middle of my term exams I'm so sorry for answering late.

when i read your comment i was on cloud 9 i couldn't believe someone who lives so far away from me read my poem and liked it that was the moment i realized the power of technology ITS CRAZYYYYY and i thought about it i loved your idea about the title i though it was genius

thank you for taking the time to read my poem and comment on it your comment and the meaning you got from this poem is very valuable to me and im very happy this poem touched your heart

Good afternoon astriya. I really liked your poem and I felt a very deep sadness... I think I know and I already felt what you described in a poetically simple way. It hurts... Your poem has many themes, the poem is particular and universal at the same time. The theme that caught my attention the most is hypocrisy and the metaphor that hurt me the most was the necklace. The metaphors you used were surgical, literally! "...there's a scar in my brain...". "...I hide in this frame /resemblance of my cage / hanging from a wall..." was a sublime sadness that filled my eyes with tears. If you allow me a suggestion, and I confess that this suggestion that I will make is quite daring and I only make it because I liked the poem very much, but I would like to suggest that you finish the poem in "... hanging from a wall... " and use the line ".... will you notice my pain ?..." as the title. What do you think? I hope the story told in this poem is just the story of the lyrical speaker and not the a

hi im incredibly sorry for answering late i was studying for my exams i was it the middle of my terms

its like you read my mind i was thinking of the exact same when i was writing the poem 

thank you for reading and commenting on my poem 

and im happy you liked it

This reminds me of this like “white picket fence” mentality and how that can be so binding. Well said

I should clarify that I do not intend to say you made an error!

Serendipity is truly beautiful.  In the past I’ve tried experiment with it, trying to make the unintentional intentional, so to speak.  There’s so much beauty in error and happenstance.

hi im so sorry for answering late i was studying for my terms (fun and a lot of all-nighters it was hard )

and what you said was so interesting cause its like you connected the dots and what you said about this poem how everything can be seen in a picture on a wall except the line that says  " there's a scar in my brain "  and that line goes back to the "look closer" part like when you explained your understanding of the poem i read my poem again and i was like OMG YOU ARE RIGHT im the one who wrote it and i didnt even notice and i was just mesmerized about the detail you pointed out 

thank you for reading my poem and "looking close" and discovering the details and thank you for taking the time to comment

Beautiful poem.  I do wonder, though, if there is a better metaphor than "there's a scar in my brain".  My only quarrel with this is that all other metaphors are visual and could potentially be seen in "a picture on a wall".  

&#x200B;

Then again, maybe it's okay to be a bit more elusive since you ask the reader to "look closer".  Perhaps this is an invitation to analyze the aforementioned visual markers of abuse and observe that which is more internal.  

&#x200B;

Does any of this make sense?

hi im sorry for answering late i was in the middle of my terms  

happy to know you enjoyed that line and thought it was cool

thank you for reading and commenting on my poem

" each necklace like a noose." 🔥🔥🔥

there's a picture on a wall

me in the middle 

such a pretty smile 

helps me keep the image of a perfect child 

&amp;#x200B;

look i wear a tearstained shirt 

and necklaces that hide their abuse 

each necklace feels like a noose

&amp;#x200B;

now look closer past my perfectly cut hair 

there's a scar in my brain 

from their love that hurt more than whips and lashes ever could

yet they stand next to me like a picture perfect family 

with their million dollar smiles to hide the swears they throw at me 

&amp;#x200B;

I hide in this frame

resemblance of my cage 

hanging from a wall

waiting to see 

will you notice my pain ?

\-Astriya 

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uchslh/comment/i6avtx9/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uchslh/comment/i6avtx9/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uchgs7/comment/i6awf0p/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uchgs7/comment/i6awf0p/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Picture Perfect Family