i’m afab and a trans male and have been thinking a lot about my connection to girlhood- i was socialized as a girl, wasn’t out until i was 18, and feel connected to it in someway still despise identifying as a boy. i was curious about what other trans people thought (afab and amab answers are welcome!!! )
Posted Apr 28, 2022, 8:44 PM UTC
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Well for starters I'm amab, and I've had a weird perspective I guess, I obviously was raised and socialized as a boy, knowing nothing about the terms or concept of transgender and I knew I wanted to be a girl, just burried it cause I thought "well this must be a thing all guys daydream about constantly" lots of things kept me from being like other kids, had a couple guy friends but the majority of my friends were girls, which got me picked on of course. Being from rural areas I was the only kid who "wasn't straight" which at the time I didn't even know what that meant. But as I went through puberty the incongruence between who I wanted to be and what puberty was doing to me, it got worse and I started noticing more things I didn't like about my physicality. Wasn't till I was 18 till I found out what transgender was and I didn't come out till I was like 25.
So with all that said, I look at 'girlhood' as something I'll never have? But I'm kinda okay with that? I certainly wouldn't wish my experience on someone else but it has shaped me into a smarter, stronger, much more whole person if that makes any sense. I had to fight not only myself, but I have had to fight the world's suspicions and expectations of who I should be, or what I am allowed to do. I know I'm a woman, i may have been a boy when I was younger but that just means I know what the world expects boys and men to do in society, how men look at and talk about women. And now I'm making up on lost time, and learning the lessons I missed out on, if I could change it I would, but I can't so I might as well make the most use out of the knowledge and experience that I have had and try to help others not have to deal with some of life's worse moments?
i’m afab and feel almost the exact same way. this was really nice to read. i grew up a girl and feel a connection to girlhood- but i am a man. i cant change it so i might as well accept the fact and embrace the fact that i had a girlhood because there’s beautiful things i learned and experienced in it.