I really like the subject matter a lot, I think it could do without the forced rhyming though. Research like words, and when you write say your poem out loud as you write it, the dialect at which you write it can open up new words that sound like they rhyme but they don't, and it makes for a much more interesting piece. Like I said, I really like it, but I think it would be much more genuine if you replaced some of the resolution words with words that meant more, and weren't just used because they conveniently rhymesd.


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Suprising. I suspected a generic erotic-themed poem and I got a deep piece about hope and life instead. It's beautifully written and hella meaningfull compared to its length, althought the lack of consistency in syllabes count in each line makes it feel a bit forced sometimes, for example in the last line. Nevertheless, amazing work



The love of a life


Silent on this night


Holding hope with all my might 


It's here the heartbeat, 


Guides me closer to the fate I will meet, 


It's here on this night, 


I hold on to my dreams until tight, 


So I can see  the beauty to be in the daylight 



https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uhhf62/untitled_haiku/?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uhhmer/mums_handbag/?utm_medium=android_app&amp;utm_source=share

night love