what a great poem! the meter is lovely, but i'm almost more inclined to focus on the satisfying consonance produced by your excellent word choice. the lines...

ju**st** a di**st**ant memory

our **f**inal, **f**leeting breaths?

and the **p** sequence in the first stanza are all particularly satisfying to me. You have an excellent sense for the lyricism of poetry and this one scratches my brain in a very pleasantly wordy way.

Wow, that poem is beautiful. Thank you for sharing, and also reading mine

"Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once." - Shakespeare

Also: [Shaving, a poem by Blanco](https://www.smith.edu/academics-poetry-center-richard-blanco-shaving) talks about a similar theme. 

I liked your poem!

Your poem gave an awesome perspective to the changing of our persons. I quite liked the short and sweet stanzas cause they added a sort of curt, though not in the rude sense, tone to the poem that really highlighted the strong suits of it; the language used and also the punctuation. Really well put together and inquisitive poem!

Thank you! Yeah, life is trippy. By the time we're aware that we're experiencing something, it's a memory. It's strange to exist

This poem touches on a fascination of mine I have wrote much about, the transition of the present to the past, and how fleeting and instaneous that transition is. I mean aren’t there hundreds of thousands of ourselves existing in this current moment. Not across dimensions but rather across different people’s consciences. Every interaction we have with a person leaves a different version of yourself in their mind, and each and every version of yourself in other people’s minds is valuable because the end of your existence is when a final person thinks of you. And what version of you exists in their minds, what version of you is the last to perish. Same occurs within our own mind, as we grow and evolve in every way. “In our lifetime, we have died a million different deaths.”
Great poem!

Loved this poem, definitely just made it into my journal to be reflected upon, creds to you, even though nobody will ever read my journal lol

Love this. You're use of consonance throughout this poem is great! These were my two favourites but I can see you've threaded it everywhere:
> glacially replaced

> a part ... permanently ... point in ... space.

I can only echo the other comments, lovely meter work and thought provoking subject. Nice work :)

saw this on poetry critics too, wonderful poem. the rhyme is so perfect, i just read it out loud to myself over and over again, all the small alliterations and assonances embedded within the flow - beautiful 🤩

Good metering and rhyme, which looks like a rarity on the sub since most rhymes seem to be free-form. I liked the imagery and the decay of life and memory. The second paragraph is my favorite with the insight that we prefer to not acknowledge the past. Good or bad, time moves on.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

The heart of every second, holds

A part of life, erased;

It’s permanently tethered to

A point in time and space.

&amp;#x200B;

A moment we're alive, contains

A piece of us, that died;

It's buried in our memories,

Then carried deep inside.

&amp;#x200B;

At every stage of life, there was

A self that we replaced;

The people who we used to be,

Have vanished with no trace.

&amp;#x200B;

Minds are shifting spectrums, spreading

Through the sands of time;

A single self remains, the rest

Are remnants left behind.

&amp;#x200B;

So, we should not be fearful of

Our final, fleeting, breaths;

A lifetime has already dealt

A million little deaths.

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ujania/comment/i7hy9vo/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ujania/comment/i7hy9vo/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uj1wgg/comment/i7hkg6d/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uj1wgg/comment/i7hkg6d/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

A Million Little Deaths