ad (sorry this poem is a little unorthodox)

Poem

buy me buy me buy me buy me buy me buy me buy me buy me wait no buy this you want to buy this you want to buy this i know youll like this based on everything you’ve said and looked at today youre really going to like this movie buy this car buy this drink youre nothing without sugar youll die if you dont take advantage of this offer buy or die buy or die look over here another thing to buy buy it i know you want to i know you like this ive been watching you i see what you like i know you youll love this buy this no no youll like this more did i just hear you say thirsty look at this drink youll die of thirst if you dont buy it you like drama i know youll like this website youre stupid and don’t know what you want ill tell you what you want you want me im what you want buy me buy me buy me do it now before its too late youre gonna die wait did you just experience fear look at this health insurance buy it buy me spend money look at this game you buy it then you have to keep buying it or we take it away buy it keep feeding me put more money into that without that game no one will like you if you dont get these clothes everyone will hate you everyone hates you i know youre depressed this will make you happy you can buy your cure buy things you wont be depressed happiness if overrated when you can buy things wait wait pay for this you want to watch that show i know you like it we are taking away youre favorite movie we’re locking it forever behind money pay for it buy it i know you like this movie buy it pay for it you dont know anything i know you i know everything about you you said recently youre hungry look you can order food to your door with a button buy it spend money for youre dinner you dont know how to make dinner i know that you like chicken want to order chicken i know you want to order chicken if you dont eat this chicken you will die youll be unhappy without it you cant find happiness in other people buy our things to achieve happiness you are unable to be happy without this i know you i know what makes you happy this is what makes you happy buy this i know youll like it i know you i know you i know you i know you i know you i know you i know you i know what you like i know what you like i know you i know you dont question me you cant look away dont worry im over there too no dont look away youll miss out on this deal buy it spend money you wont be happy you arent happy you arent happy you arent happy you arent happy you arent happy you arent happy you arent happy youll never be happy youll never be happy you are depressed youre sad youre down you cant catch a break i can help you i will help you buy this and it will help this will help you will be happy if you spend money on this spend money on this and you wont have depression dont worry about your savings you need this you need to use money to get happiness dont be sad being sad isnt cool being sad is lame if youre sad you wont be cool no one will like you noone likes sad things buy this and you wont be sad wait buy this and you wont i be depressed depression is stupid depression shouldnt exist you need to buy you need to buy you need to buy you need to buy you need to buy you need to buy look you can buy this wait youll be happy with this no no no this is what you want i know you i know what you want you dont know what you want just buy this ok?

… ok

link 1

link 2

Posted May 17, 2022, 2:43 AM UTC

107
caorunn3•

I really liked the idea here! And I really liked the bits I read but I struggled to read it all - I found it difficult to follow along the lines because there words were all packed so tight. Maybe that's not a problem -readers can get the gist without reading every word. Maybe something like making occasional words bold would help, to show new ideas and give it a sort of structure without ruining how you've done it.

2

I think the slight challenge presented by the formatting of this poem really worked in it’s favor. To me it mirrors the way the constant pressure to consume can be seen as an affront at first but it breaks you down and you eventually find yourself subject to its rhythm. I really liked the ending and what I saw as the crescendo of the poem, the repetition of “you aren’t happy”. This poem sounds like the algorithm’s thoughts, especially because you get the feeling this poem will just repeat. This isn’t a victory for the consumed, it’s just one defeat out of many for the consumer.

2
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1
irecursion1•

Very nice! I really like this idea, it’s very creative.

1
spaceagesocks•

This style reminded me of my own racing thought That I deal with at times. I personally leaned into that as I read and the way it captured that feeling for me made me really enjoy it. While I cannot be sure of the pacing you as the poet intended, I guess formatting it in a way so we could better consume it at the pace you wish may be a cool next step for this poem. Personally I really want to try reading this poem in a speed reader program, one of the one that flashes words one at a time but allows you read incredibly fast.

I tacked on a website where you can try it for yourself

https://www.spreeder.com/app.php?intro=1

Edit: I just tried it myself, and I loved consuming your poem that way. And honestly you’ve now inspired me to make my own poems intended for this format, I think they could be really interesting.

1
lemrind•

Creative! The crowding of the words really made it much more of an exciting read and added to the meaning . <3

1
xxnightstarxxx•

I really appreciated this concept, the writing style reminded me of Catcher in The Rye with the kind of continual stream of conscious thought. I wonder if some capitalized words in bold could help break up some of it while also emphasizing the message? Maybe anytime buy is mentioned? That way you can keep the running sentence but it could be a bit easier on the eyes. Thank you for sharing!

1