I already commented on this but rereading it a couple times I feel like I understand it better and I really love this poem. It speaks about how we can be entranced by something beautiful like a hummingbird and it can profuse refuge from our harsh thoughts. I love the line about thoughts sharpening their teeth because it shows how violent our own musings can be to ourselves

Thank you!! This was a very helpful comment, so I appreciate it!!

This poem made me want to think deeply about things but I’ll confess I didn’t really understand what you were trying to say with it. I loved the use of rhyme though and the imagery of the humming bird. I loved when you said “rivers run deep” after talking about your thoughts. This is all I have I hope it helps you. I’m just learning how to write and critique others.

Thank you for your comment. The meta point is a great one!

What I like about this poem is that it seems like the hummingbird is a welcome distraction for more serious thought for the speaker.

In that way, it is a bit meta because reading the poem itself can provide the same feeling for the reader.

I liked the poem quite a lot (I suppose my affinity for birds has something to do with it). I think what you were trying to say is that without distractions such as the hummingbird in this case, help you not sink into your own thoughts, making you lose a sense of self, which is quite interesting. I might be getting that wrong though.

In any case, I want you to know I enjoyed reading it, and whether I understood it or not it's still a great poem.


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Having read the poem, I find it interesting as a poem registering thinking about thinking. A poem forms in the mind from one incident or image that triggers a multitude of connections from a multitude of angles that coalesce into a poem. Of  course you haven't reached that final step, except you did, with a poem about the process. The poem reads effectively and to the point until the third stanza. I feel you liked the line " mediocrity is welcome but not valuable" but I don't think it fits to the point of the other elements of your poem. I understand you might feel differently, but I'm just observing.congrats.

A Humming Bird  

provides this deluge.  

Temporarily vacant  

A dulcified refuge  

&amp;#x200B;

Otherwise - I becomes We  

Me and my Musings.  

Theories, deliberations,  

Painstaking fine tuning  

&amp;#x200B;

Bliss is ignorance  

Memory stays malleable  

Mediocrity is welcomed;  

but not valuable  

&amp;#x200B;

With time and energy  

Thoughts sharpen their teeth  

I look back at A Humming Bird  

Still waters run deep  

&amp;#x200B;

Link 1:

&amp;#x200B;

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/usd4a5/comment/i95nytc/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/usd4a5/comment/i95nytc/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

&amp;#x200B;

Link 2:

&amp;#x200B;

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/usrbn6/comment/i95nke6/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/usrbn6/comment/i95nke6/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)