That’s exactly what I was trying to convey, thank you so much!

I love how you showed the contrast of (from what I understand), an "implant" that made this person whole but at the same time, this "implant" also made him/her feel less human. This really resonates with me because of how it feels deep or rather, strong the feelings they have for what makes them whole. This thing that makes them whole also is making them feel less like themselves, it is kind of reminiscent of some people getting implants, them trying to look normal to conform to what society deems as "normal" but at the same time their implants are also making them feel less like themselves. Overall, I really enjoyed your poem!!!

Absolutely, thank you for the feedback! I’ll try reworking this with that in mind.

The first two lines open the poem strong.  However, the lines "the static and strife motion blood to tide" and "casting borders pulp where reach never meets" didn't make sense to me.  "Underneath my heart volts" picks it back up and the poem finishes solidly.  I'd recommend reconsidering the pacing as it seems inconsistent.


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i rub my power lines

to feel the iron inside

the static and strife
motion blood to tide

casting borders pulp
where reach never meets

underneath my heart volts

past the graft

over the skin

what made me whole 
made me less human


[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uvhw6c/speak/i9lspwj/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uvhudb/home/i9lt2x7/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

compromise