Thanks so much for your in-detail feedback. I'll definitely be working on this in the future with your comments!

I like the central premise of this poem, and enjoyed a lot of the images you presented toward the end. I have a few suggestions on where you might take this poem next if you're looking to keep messing with it.  

***  

**Consider refining the opening to more clearly situate your conceit.** The way I read it, the opening feels like a couple of false starts; the imperative "Remember" sets up one expectation, then we have something that some vague "someone" said, but then the poem itself ends up largely being observation (if you can call an imagined future 'observation'.) If your premise is 'in the future, everyone will smile all the time,' I want to know that with certainty up front so that I'm totally along for the ride.  

**Give us more of the specific moments you land on in the conclusion.** The mother tucking the child in, the man at the employment office, and especially the woman throwing clothes into the street (all smiling) are your most interesting images, and this is where the

Thank you so much for reading and high level feedback!

**Critiques:**

I'd get rid of 'haunting' before 'twitching'--it's already haunting on its own without the reader needing to be told. Twitching already does that work. 'No emotions transferred' was a little bit strangely worded. As is 'beyond their selves'. I think 'breaks up like a grenade' might benefit from a little tweaking, but I like the idea. It's a neat new way to describe an explosive breakup. I found the odd punctuation, spacing, and lineation in this poem to be unnecessary and distracting. Trust your words to have an impact. The weird stylistic stuff does nothing for it, in my opinion. I also thought the phrase "botox nightmares" felt a little out of place. Not out of place in the poem, just sort of where it was. It felt like an orphan line without enough of a connection to what came after it when compared to what came before it to justify separating it from what came before. Getting rid of the big unnecessary space would help with that.

**Compliments and Reactions:**

I'm 

Thanks so much for your feedback and time taken to read my poem. I'd liked to work on this further and I'll take your comments on board! Glad you liked it

*Remember...*

*Smiling is infectious*

*I heard someone say*

The speaker quotes someone who compares smiling to a contagion. I am yet not sure whether their take will be ironic or sincere, given that we generally associate smiles with positive, upbeat moods.

*an epidemic*

*In 2052*

*everyone constantly smiles*

Here’s another subversion of expectation; the reader might have expected an allusion to the present day COVID-19 outbreak. Instead we’re transported to the future, in which people are plagued by grins.

*haunting, twitching smile*

“haunting, twitching” adds a welcoming degree of horrifying detail. I also applaud the *au* and *wi* sounds as well as the repeated *ti* sounds which imbue the line with sonic intensity.

*Only eyes tell stories*

*Fearful, lonely*

*Tired of spasming cheek muscles*

This stanza compellingly paints a world where facial expressions are frozen in petrified smiles and emotional connection is all but lost. Anxious disconnection soaks through this civ


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

Remember...

Smiling is infectious

I heard someone say

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;After an epidemic

In 2052

everyone constantly smiles

&amp;#x200B;

A haunting, twitching smile

No emotions transferred

Only eyes tell stories

Fearful, lonely

Tired of spasming cheek muscles

Always looking for something

Something beyond their selves

Wander around aimlessly

In the streets, at the hospitals,

&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;shops, offices, funerals


&amp;#x200B;


Botox nightmares

A mother puts her child to bed with an unquivering smile

A bearded man drags himself to the employment office

and the couple breakup like a grenade

As she throws his clothes

&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp;&amp;nbsp; into the street

Smiles. chiseled. onto.

both of their 

faces

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

---

All comments and feedback welcome

[The Language of Flowers](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uw2tzl/the_language_of_the_flowers/i9pgive/?context=3)

[A poem to Luna Lake:](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/urcqco/a_poem_to_luna_lake/i9pgm00/?context=3)

Smiling is Infectious