Abandoned and Deceived

This poem hit me. The use of repetition here would almost come off redundant, but there's such pain between these lines that it feels more like a desperate, frantic plea. It's genuinely moving (I actually teared up a little while reading it, haha), and as a reader I can't help but empathize with you. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece (and please know, it does get better)

God, each word hit me like a truck.

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I'm gonna put my critical lense aside for a second to appreciate the raw emotion I'm sensing in this piece. The use of repetition might seem amaturish on a cursory glance but rereading it I can't help but feel a sobbing soul pouring all the pent up agony on a piece of paper/or this screen. I wish I could extend my soul out to you to hug you and embrace you as a fellow human being who quite clearly needs it. No one deserves to be hurt like this and I hope you find someone along your journey who'll be there for you like you've been for that person and more. Sending love xx

This is a raw, powerful, and effective tale of the devastation that follows a relationship where loyalty and love are not requited--where only one party gives while the other only takes. Repetition here works for me as the metaphorical blows that pound the speaker's misplaced trust beyond the breaking point--both in the "I was there for you . . ." and "You walked away . . ." sequences. Well done!

I can't add much but I can see a bit how must it feel

I feel like all the repetition would make this better as a slam poem, personally I don't like read the same thing over again but if it was performed that would give it a powerful rhythm.

besides that I would try to tone it down personally, but I'm betting that's because I'm older than you. I just think if you held back more to create tension then had the emotional climax at the end to resolve it that would be more effective.

if you live in a city I'm willing to bet there is somewhere you could go to read your poetry and if you watched just a few slam poetry videos (if you haven't already?) I bet you could do it, it really seems like the natural medium for a piece like this.