Source
r/OCPoetry•
TheFootpadsPoet

Cherry Blossoms and You

Poem

The most beautiful part of the blossom, is it's brief time in the year.

As once it's gone, all the money couldn't bring it back into flowering here.

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Reflecting our own happy snapshots in time,

Only once witnessed by the eyes, yet stored forever in the mind.

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A reminder to appreciate the present moment's endeavour.

For the most beautiful flowers never bloom forever.

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(Edit, now with sound if you'd like)

https://soundcloud.com/user-381891644/the-cherry-blossoms-and-you?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

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(Notes on the poem above)

For anyone curious as to why the 'You' part is in the title,

It was handwritten onto a piece of card with a lone cherry branch drawn from the top left, gradually widdling out across the top of the page and this was given to someone under the same tree which gave the initial inspiration.

I would upload the image for you guys to see but for two reasons I won't:

. I am terrible at reddit (as you can see) and don't know how to upload

. It contains my signature. My work isn't exactly Rumi but I would like to remain anonymous if possible.

I know some people prefer little to no explanation with regards to poems, so please forget the above.

Go on, shake it from your mind. I know you can do it reader!

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Some desperate attempts at feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/uszrmj/comment/i97hf4s/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/urxmb5/comment/i97f3mq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Posted May 19, 2022, 2:56 PM UTC · edited

919
Mental-Reputation-32•

I like the poem a lot, and the theme also. I'd say that it's also technically writen good and it flows. The rhymes are great and also the rythm.

I do really like the theme. It's really encourageing and it explores the quickness with wich life gallops. I like that it's heartfelt and it really is one of the better poems posted on here, well at least in my opinion. I'd say my favourite are the last two lines. Keep on writing I really enjoyed this one as it's better than most stuff posted on here. Hope to see a post by you soon :)

2
TheFootpadsPoetOP•

Hello, thanks for taking the time to leave your kind words, always appreciated!

lovely to hear, i'm glad you think it's one of the better poems.

Well to repeat the above I value your opinion!

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Yes I just recently started but I would like to gauge how they feel with the general public so there are a few more in the repository, be on the look out for the name.

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lemrind•

It may be because I love to see poetry including the description of flowers, but I think its nice! But actually, I really like the message conveyed here. <3

2
TheFootpadsPoetOP•

Hello, thanks for taking the time to leave your kind words, always appreciated!

​

Yes I always find that I fall back to flower related topics, they are relatable for all cultures.

Ladies who bite their teeth and roll up their sleeves, men who work in tights, people of all types!

2
ScarredVindex•

I am loving this piece! The way it lured us readers with the curiosity built in the first line of the poem was a great hook. The feels that the concluding line provided an even more powerful and lasting impact as it was a similar contrast of intro where it indicated how the most beautiful flowers don't bloom or last forever, and the paradox of how that makes the most beautiful part of them. It also worked so well for me that the writer drew a parallelism between the momentary blooming of flowers, and ephemeral happy days we have as humans. It makes the readers ponder more about how we should cease all moments and live to enjoy and make most of the now. Keep up the great work, OP!

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TheFootpadsPoetOP•

Hello, thanks for taking the time to leave your kind words, always appreciated!

Hey! thanks for the positive write up on my piece above. It's one I feel most proud on, if you are allowed to choose between your children.

As mentioned above, keep an eye out for more. I might try and incorporate sound as it adds an extra layer when you can both see and hear what I am writing. Although i'm basically technically inept so i'll check on the feasibility.

1
TheFootpadsPoetOP•

Hey again, so turns out it was easy enough to get setup.

Please find the recording above and here if you'd like:

https://soundcloud.com/user-381891644/the-cherry-blossoms-and-you?utm\_source=clipboard&utm\_medium=text&utm\_campaign=social\_sharing

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Choice_Check1266•

Recently I feel like I’ve been wasting time and precious moments but this poem sort of helped me realize that those moments are precious for a reason :)

2
TheFootpadsPoetOP•

Hello, thanks for taking the time to leave your kind words, always appreciated!

Nice! well if it can help you in any way when you read this and ponder, it's a honour to do it.

1
Smart-Minimum-9339•

It's a poem of a simple concept , which i think is one of the reasons it comes off as beautiful as it does ,and the structure and rhyme scheme all go along well with the theme , hope to see more poems from you

2
TheFootpadsPoetOP•

Hello, thanks for taking the time to leave your kind words, always appreciated!

yes I enjoy the idea of a brief moment in time and the brevity of the poem itself.

Glad you enjoyed it.

2
ExxxtraNumb•

This was very beautiful. I enjoyed it all the way through. The words used captured my attention all the way through. I just wished it kept going forever.

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TheFootpadsPoetOP•

Hello, thanks for taking the time to leave your kind words, always appreciated!

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Ah lovely to hear from you that this one was a home run!

2
amansearching4soul•

I like the way you have related cherry blossoms and happiness. So simple and relevant for everyone. Cherish what you can , as nothing remains for ever. A beautiful and heart touching poem.

2
TheFootpadsPoetOP•

Hello, thanks for taking the time to leave your kind words, always appreciated!

Yes the poetry that strikes the iron best is something which appeals to everyone regardless of what characteristics you possess. Or that's the idea.

Although I don't mind more niche audiences. Pfft, in conclusion just write to whichever crowd you feel like.

1
amansearching4soul•

Still a toddler , trying my best to learn and improve.

1
JoshKokkolaWriting•

I really enjoy the existential theme and contrast between the life and death of a flower.

I also like the metaphysical invocation of death contrasted with money, the ultimate materiel possession.

Great poem!

2
TheFootpadsPoetOP•

Hello, thanks for taking the time to leave your kind words, always appreciated!

Thank you. It's good to see that the poem rang true, and evokes many feelings, even some emotions/thoughts at the opposite side of one another.

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