[2338] A Cold Day In November (second attempt.)

Hi all, I posted part of this story a few days ago. Since then it's been revised and expanded. But this is still an early draft. This is also one chapter in a novel, so the ending here isn't the end of this story or of these characters. It isn't meant to stand alone.

My Work: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hN5_kYOWjjKxLc2Vi1nQrA_DxNLCBDDgGlZRH56hKZE/edit?usp=sharing

Trigger warning: violence.

IMO, all feedback is good feedback. So I don't post specific questions when I submit here. Also, I can take harsh critiques. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. Thanks in advance.

Cheers, V

Recent crit: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/uxltms/comment/ia9dz3h/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 (This is a two-part critique, the second half is a reply to this part.)