Distance- A Haiku
How far away are you?
Feet? Miles? Light years? You're right here.
With me, in my thoughts.
​
Feedback links:
Posted Jun 2, 2022, 5:02 AM UTC
How far away are you?
Feet? Miles? Light years? You're right here.
With me, in my thoughts.
​
Feedback links:
Posted Jun 2, 2022, 5:02 AM UTC
So close and yet truly so far away. Love this!
This is really nice. Well done :)
I love the idea, love the last sentence but I think there's one too many syllables in the first sentence!
Keep going!
Yes you're right, thanks for pointing out. I mistakenly counted away as one syllable😅
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).
If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.
If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Gorgeous!! It tastes of Rumi.
That's high praise, thanks :)
The brevity of it gives it this negation quality. Like the idea that we could ever be separate isn’t even worth the time it takes to entertain as a fantasy. I don’t know, that’s what made me think of Rumi at least. I think you’re a queen of not-at-all shitty poems :) have a great night!
I like the simple connection expressed, like hey im right here with you.