[2,006] Temple of Redemption Chapter 1, Part 2

Hi guys!

As some of you know, I've been working on the first chapter of my fantasy novel. This is the second part of chapter one. After reviewing your critiques on the first part, I'm tempted to scrap most of part one and add only the most important parts to part two and call it a chapter. If you have been kind enough to read my previous sections, let me know if you agree.

I've done a lot of world-building, and I tend to use too much exposition. So, I'm trying to move away from that. I'm also trying to build a lot of tension in this section. I want my reader to be guessing about what's happening next. Any advice on how to improve would be much appreciated.

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Temple of Redemption - Chapter One, Part Two