[1012] Cinderella Rewrite

This was a little exercise that I worked out about the original fairy tales. Long story short, I am kinda tinkering with updating them into a modern setting.

I feel this is my best piece so far, and I really want to improve it.

So, I am looking for any kind of critique. Hit me where it hurts.

Google Doc

I have previously critiqued: Knight of Earth at 2125 words, leaving me with a surplus of 1113 words.