Don't think I can take this anymore

I feel like I want to cry all the time. My gf left me 1 year ago now and I still feel like shit about it. Since then I've lost 2 jobs, I'm now in one that I love but panicking that I'm going to lose this one as well.

Daily I imagine jumping in front of a train, even on holiday recently in Portugal I had to stop myself having the urge to take a run up and jump off the 5 storey balcony.

If I lose this job that's it. I'm done trying. I'm clearly not made for this life, it's too much and I can't find peace or happiness in it