Soulmate

And yet we see those heart warming videos about people who are born color blind, who know no difference… the grey world is all they know, but then they put on glasses that allow them to see color, they can’t control themselves… emotions roll over them like a rogue wave, crushing every belief they have… when you find your other half, it feels the same, and you can’t go back to living in grey…

You weren’t split in two
And even if you were
you’d still technically be you
A whole half, all on your own
And if you were half a person
Would you still be looking for that other half
if you didn’t know?

Physically. But what about spiritually? Maybe we are ripped in two, three or maybe even 40 million parts... Only to be recycled over and over again constantly trying to recollect all the parts of our souls to become one.

​

I like this poem and the middle finger to the Gods it gives! Fucking 10/10.

I'm feeling this right now. The community I'm in there is a whole lot of focus on finding that one person who completes you somehow. I don't want to need another person to complete me, I just want to feel complete because I'm a person. I'm a big fan of the attitude in this poem. :)

Yeah, def a misconception that we need to find another half to be complete. The concept is a hindrance to development and freedom in the chance to discover yourself.

I really love this, especially the allusion to the Greek soulmate story (also "Well, fuck Zeus" is a great line). I also enjoyed the message about being whole without another person; I think that's really important.

One suggestion would be to include the standalone line with a stanza (it would work fine as the last line of the first stanza imo). It looks a bit odd on its own. That, or add another standalone line between each stanza so it's part of the pattern.

This was adorable and I'm so glad I expanded it and didn't just think it was a one note joke poem. Thank you so much for writing something so funny and honest.

I like how you used theology with this poem. The gods or god are in my thoughts of writing as well. I’m a beginner at poetry but lately I have been trying to understand more about structure of different poems. I feel like after reading this one that a sense of anger over being looked down on (ie) by a god but in fact your perfect. Very interesting perspective.

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Hi, this is my first attempt at giving feedback, so I'm going to make it as high effort as possible: Just reading the poem without knowing the title, I could not tell this was about losing a soulmate. Why did Zeus split you two? What is this "truth" that the gods know that us mere mortals don't? The part about the math was a bit confusing to me too, since math, to me, is like the language of the universe. How does a god not know about math? Also, you talk about your soulmate not knowing they'd be missing a half if they were born half a person. I guess that implies we're all born with soulmates? If so, you are not telling me how it makes you feel losing something you were so attached to.

Again, I'm sorry if I sound too critical, but I'm trying my best to give you as constructive of a criticism as I can, without sounding condescending. Keep up the good work, and continue writing!

I love this poem, "well, fuck Zeus" might be one of my favorite lines I've read in a poem. One thing id like to know is what is the "truth"? is it the realization of our power that Zeus feared? Also, like another comment suggested, I think having another standalone line between the second and third stanzas might just be the thing this poem needs. Take my feedback with a grain of salt though, still new to poetry. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece.

Your subversion is great, it somehow both breaks the rhythm of the first stanza while feeling like it fits perfectly, it’s like it flows just not in the way you expect which feeds the theme so well.

The only possible advice is the last few lines seem to stumble a bit on themselves, though it doesn’t really take anything from the rest of the poem so I don’t think it’s even a real problem.

Have a good day, I hope you’re doing well :)