I love this poem so much and the only word I don't like is 'bouquet', but in the context of the poem and the final line, it makes a lot of sense. 

I think the most beautiful lines are:   
1. "I’m distracted from the dusky sky

When you spit shells at me."  


This does that magic trick of painting a picture of a really groegeous pink and silver sunset without using any adjectives except 'dusky' -- amazing!   


When you spit shells at me -- wedding confetti, playful, seeds as symbolism for fertility, lots of stuff there that's really fantastic. 

2.   
"A field of beauty ever spanning  
A stare that follows those driving by."  


'The sky as a field that's 'ever spanning', getting bigger and bigger and more and more fertile.  


'A stare that follows those driving by...' That places this is modernity and reminds me of the sorts of sideways glances with knowing glimmers in eyes, that only friends or people closely connected can share to convey and idea or shared knowledge.  


3.  "We 

Throughout recent history, sunflowers have been used for medicinal purposes. The Cherokee created a sunflower leaf infusion that they used to treat kidneys. Whilst in Mexico, sunflowers were used to treat chest pain.

I like this a lot! I think its a really good rhyme poem. The last stanza is just perfect. My only feedback would be to maybe use "as we snack on sunflower seeds" instead of "and". I think that puts the reader more in the moment. I don't have much else to say, I think you've got a really good poem!

Very pleasant and direct interpretation of sunflowers. Very thoughtful line/stanza organization and interesting rhyme scheme. Like the turn it takes in stanza 3, could use more descriptors in some sections but otherwise awesome!

This is so soft and simple. Their is a feeling of youth or innocence of some kind written through the wording. The continuous yellow and sun that is referenced in several ways is what carried me through reading it, all 3 times. I think this is wonderful, always best to start shorter when dabbling in rhyme poetry, just like so. I think this is splendid.

No problem, I find that most of the time when something feels off with a poem, it's because of the rhythm.

Thanks for the suggestion about the shells line; I knew something was off but I couldn’t think how to fix it. Much appreciated!

I think your use of rhyme was really great!  I often like to use rhyme as an effect, instead of just using the same rhyme scheme for the entire poem, so if I want it to feel like my poem is reaching a climax, I'll either begin to use rhyme, or if I'm following say an ABAB rhyming pattern, I'll have a stanza or two where I use an AAAA pattern.

I also really love the sense of rhythm that this poem has.  I'm always a huge fan of poetry that has a really nice flow to it, and this poem really scratched that itch for me.  

My one suggestion would be to add "their" to the last line of the third stanza, so "When you spit their shells at me."  instead of "When you spit shells at me.", just because I think it makes it match the second line of that stanza a bit better rhythmically. 

 I don't know if you play any musical instruments, but in music there's something called triplet, which is basically three notes played in the space of two, if that makes sense.  At least in my mind, the word "sunf

I like this! It makes me wanna have a picnic in a field. The wedding day line came as a bit of a shock, but that's not really a criticism. Anyway, good job.


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Nice poem you got here! The vibe is good, and the imagery is great. Nice executed rhyming! It definitely helps the last stanza land well, putting us in the moment and giving context. I love the focus on the sunflowers. Neat work, and keep writing!

 

Yellow petals as summer days

Numbering many but still too few

A spiral of seeds attract my gaze 

I pick a bouquet to give to you. 

&amp;#x200B;

Uniform in their rigid standing

They all look up into the sky

A field of beauty ever spanning

A stare that follows those driving by

&amp;#x200B;

We sit and watch the sun go down

And snack on sunflower seeds

I’m distracted from the dusky sky

When you spit shells at me. 

&amp;#x200B;

We wade through the field of sun kissed flowers

Tall enough to give us shade

And wait for the church bell to start it’s ringing 

For us to celebrate our wedding day.

&amp;#x200B;

*Author's note: I am new to writing rhyming poetry and I'm admittedly not very good at it yet. Suggestions are welcome, and if anyone has broad advice for writing rhyming poetry that's much apprecieated as well. Thanks!*

 

[Comment 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vbaf1z/comment/ic8bs1z/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[Comment 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vbhwk1/comment/ic8d780/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Sunflowers