Her Skin Knew Him

Poem

Her skin knew him. 

Breathed him.

Craved, and yearned for him.

It was longing so deep and true,

A dark, inky blue 

That seeped into her bones,

Filled her lungs, 

And squeezed the breath from her throat, 

His memory escaping from her heart,

Bubbling away from her mind,

And floating through her fingers. 

The crimson flush,

Cherry blush,

Of her name whispered by his lips, 

Much like a prayer cast in moonlight,

All but disappeared

beneath the icy depths 

In his absence.

Yet even still,

an ember smolders,

Kindled by the warm winds of time,

As she shivers,

Aching for the heat of his skin

That left her trembling

Under his featherlight touch. 

______________________

Feedback:

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Posted Jun 15, 2022, 5:15 AM UTC

1610
criticles•

Beautiful-- I can hear the longing sighs from this piece. It takes its time but the images make you want to linger in each line. It's a great serenade with just the right amount of tragedy at the end. There are a few parts where I thought some adjectives/descriptions are redundant, like "The crimson flush, Cherry blush" and "Kindled by the warm winds of time." Although I think you were aiming for a rhyme scheme, so these work if the poem is read out loud. I think still that a rhyme scheme is better appreciated when it adds different details to the image it builds instead of several lines focusing on just one detail. Otherwise, well done.

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Ah, this is so good. My favourite lines are:

And squeezed the breath from her throat,  His memory escaping from her heart,

Such vivid imagery. I can picture his essence gripping her throat and a dune of past memories leaving her.

And

Of her name whispered by his lips,  Much like a prayer cast in moonlight,

Also like how you refer to the fact that time rekindles these memories and so he hasn't completely left her in that sense.

Thank you for writing this. I'm currently getting over someone that I was intensely in love with, so this helps. :')

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Brawnhilde•

First 8 lines: "wow, sexy."

Line 9: *surprised pikachu*

This poem is SO sexy and SO wistful at the same time. I guess if I had any notes at all, it would be to delay the reveal that the narrator is mourning lost love. And I like the optimistic note, but I wonder, could the narrator benefit by searching for NEW love?

FANTASTIC work. Thank you for it.

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contraindicatedd•

Love it! It’s so descriptive and vivid that I really pictured it all and felt it while reading. Great work.

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atinylotus•

I really enjoyed the imagery in this poem. All those descriptive words really brought me into this poem and created a sense of warmth which I really enjoyed. My favorite lines were those last few towards the end

"an ember smoulders, kindled by the warm winds of time"

This poem really creates a feeling of longing for someone who may not be around anymore. It's like you're missing them and even though, they may not be around anymore you still carry those feelings with you. Great work!

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Unnecessary_Potato•

😭

I feel this and I'm drunk and crying now

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A beautiful love poem that makes one smile and remember those feelings and it ends bittersweet. I love it. :)

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A-Girl-in-need•

I like the imagery! Not sure if I found it more romantic or creepy but either way it was nice to read.

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Ahmadillo_•

"Bubbling away from her mind and floating through her fingers"

The imagery here was fantastic. It gives me this fleeting yet somewhat agonizing feeling. Even though there's some relief it doesn't come without pain the "bubbling"

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