DAE get really intense crushes?

Think of it this way - autists tend to have hyperfixations, right?

Well, romantic interests are subject to this the same as any other interest.

Being the subject of a hyperfixation can be supremely uncomfortable for the person, however, so it's important for us to recognize when we're hyperfixating and do our best to moderate it.

What I've found is helpful for me is to cultivate enough other interests that I'm able to say "I'm approaching unhealthy levels, time to divert myself onto something else".

Yes, it's far easier said than done.

This is a quote from the Wikipedia article on limerence, which seems to fit your case and has happened to me several times:

"It is this unfulfilled, intense longing for the other person which defines limerence, where the individual becomes "more or less obsessed by that person and spends much of their time fantasising about them". Limerence may only last if conditions for the attraction leave it unfulfilled; therefore, occasional, intermittent reinforcement is required to support the underlying feelings. Hayes notes that "it is the unobtainable nature of the goal which makes the feeling so powerful", and that it is not uncommon for those to remain in a state of limerence over someone unreachable for months and even years."

Yeah I do, I basically fall in love with anybody remotely nice to me.

A girl rejected me and 4 years later it's still super painful to think about.

Makes me feel pretty pathetic.

Someone else described a similar experience on r/aspergirls a while back and I found it for you.

There might be some helpful comments there too gif

https://www.reddit.com/r/aspergirls/comments/rnoauc/does_anyone_else_here_have_very_strong_and/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

I've alway's gotten really intense crushes, 80% of the time i have a crush on someone they become a special interest, i find can myself thinking about them daily. I've also demi sexual and don't meet many people who i'm into. I've found what has helped is working on my boundaries and having them in place to help things not get too intense, if they other person is in my life to respect their needs and space, having other special interests to delve into, trying to work on other aspects of my social life.

Also being gentle on myself about it, i know i get special interest's and i know this can include people, so long as it's not causing me to be disrespectful of someone else's boundaries or push someone else into something they don't want or causing an inability to do other things in my life, i try not to panic about it , my brain will let it go when it's ready to. With all that said it's taken me a long time to work through it and get it to a healthy place, i'd say learning about and working on boundaries has been the key for me

I'm like you in that I don't like dating unless I *like* someone. That takes a while, and I don't want to be stuck on a date I'm not interested in being on AT ALL.

I don't necessarily have huge crushes, but oh geez does it take me a LONG time to adjust if I lose someone. If they become my normal and my emotional home base and that whole thing goes I just lose a whole foundation. It sucks and coping with it internally without being able to bug them about it is always a real struggle.

so I think we both get the big feels but in different ways. I guess once I do like someone it gets very strong.

If it makes you feel better, I fall in love with every woman that sits in front of me at work. Maybe it's just that I'm connecting with another adult, but I am detail oriented and end up learning a good deal about their likes, dislikes, hobbies, and upbringing in a relatively short span of time. Never inappropriate, but I would like to have that in a relationship.

I definitely do this, I find that as soon as someone has told me they aren't interested it switches off like a switch though, not in a spiteful way, just a (huh, I misjudged that, happy to be friends kind of way). The main times that I have not had the light switch moment were once as a teenager and once at 28 years old, in the first case I basically wound up harassing the girl, repeatedly asked her out, talked to her most evenings after school, told her I loved her etc etc, all the cringey stuff awkward socially inept boys do as teenagers. Second case, totally wonderful asexual lady who was really fun to talk to and shared several interests with me. She didn't feel ready to have a relationship but was open to something with me when she felt ready. I initially said I didn't want to put any pressure on her to feel ready so would try seeing other people before realising that my feelings for her were too strong for that to feel comfortable, then we met up for dinner after 9 months of talking online and she ghosted me 3 days after. I still think about her and miss her almost a year on. I kind of have another instance ongoing with a member of my D&D group, but she is seeing someone and the thoughts are mostly a strong desire to cuddle her when I go to sleep and smiling lots when we get to spend time together out of character.

I dont really get them