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i spent a long time wondering about God, this poem captures that very well

I think these are feelings a lot of us have. What happens after we die? Are we worthy of a peaceful eternity? Will we be content, will we find those we love? I like how it feels like a train of thought rather than something heavily edited. It feels like exact conversations I’ve had with myself when alone.

Love the feelings brought by this poem. It brings up the thoughts we all have and can think about together. It really pushes the fact that the facts of existence are completely unknown.

Exactly. I think you said it better than I did :)

For me this felt less so about God but more like the familiar ache and melancholia of unrequited love and the inability to move on, how it feels like hell and we wonder whether it will last an eternity, but maybe that's just my take as a melancholic atheist haha. Either way, it's a beautiful poem and I really liked it, well done!

When I read, "So I shouldn’t feel the ache anymore, right?" I was reminded of that line or idea that I've heard repeated is a lot of different media: immortality is not living forever, but it's everyone else dying around you. Even though most people fear death because it is the greatest of the unknowns, is immortality that much better?

thank you so much for the thoughtful feedback. I think it's a great suggestion.

this poem does a good job capturing the the uncertainty of death and the nature of heaven. i think it gets at the feeling that how can the promise of heaven mean anything after the suffering of a life none of us asked for. what does it mean if the people you loved in life don't make it to heaven too? what if they can't remember you because they "opted to erase" your memories. makes you wonder if "wiping away every tear" is actually a good thing or merely an act of mercy.

i like the structure of the poem, how it's really conversational and how it flows. the resolution at the end is really poignant as it brings the poem full circle with the "sometimes i wonder"/"i wonder sometimes." This brings me to my only suggestion.  It might be a good idea to make these two similar lines the same to really emphasize the change in perspective from the beginning to the end and to tie the poem more tightly together. 

lovely job! i really enjoyed it!

I love the contemplation of life and death here. Personally I’ve questioned the idea of god for quite some time, and often times I still do question myself.

Good effort. One thing I would say in terms of constructive criticism would be the term “pearly gates” is cliche to the point of being cringe. Think if there’s a more original/expressive way to get across the same point.

The last line really hit me. I definitely felt it.

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m already in hell.”

I also wonder about eternity. Some days I hope it exists, other days I wish everything would abruptly come to an end.

I wonder sometimes,

about eternity.

&amp;#x200B;

Should I make it past  those pearly gates,

will I see you?

Will you look me in the eyes?

Smile?

Or turn and walk away…?

&amp;#x200B;

It says

“He’ll wipe away every tear,”

So I shouldn’t feel the ache anymore, right?

At least I hope.

&amp;#x200B;

Or perhaps,

knowing me, They’ll

opt to erase my memory,    

because they’d rather

not have any trouble.

&amp;#x200B;

I don’t know.

&amp;#x200B;

Sometimes I wonder

if I’m already in hell.

/////

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Thoughts On Eternity