Frogs

I heartfelt poem, a confessional poem. The speaker not proud of what he has done, perhaps wanting some redemption from these feelings. Its like an open letter to frogs. The scene was clear and some interesting imagery. My favourite lines are:

You know me only by

The warmth of asphalt

And the crushing weight of tires

My only thing is that it reads more as a letter than a poem but I also understand that its the chosen style. Overall, enjoyed it though, thought it was refreshing and thought provoking. The whole scene and emotion of the poem certainly lingers for a long time!

this is generally a good poem. my two words of advice would be as follows:

1. the first 2 lines are unnecessary, I'd remove them; it makes the poem more impactful, I think, with the reader slowly realising it's like someone's talking to someone se.
2. its a sign of poor free verse when you do lines like

I know you were just born, stretching new legs that Did not know better.

the first line is fine. the third line is fine. the second line is bad, because it is neither the start of a sentence nor the end of a sentence; this feels unnatural.

I'd try changing it to:

I know you were just born; just stretching new legs, new legs that knew not better.

the comma after the second line there means it's less unnatural

Hey Pins, real solid work. I feel like this poem is trying to convey the idea that as we get older, it becomes more difficult to empathize for others. First, we have less energy to go out of our way in order to be model citizens. But also, perhaps we realize that doing good deeds just doesn't hold as much merit within itself. We should always be striving to do good without hoping for anything In return but again, that takes energy and patience. Patience takes time, something of which older people have less. So I think you did a very good job getting this message across. Your decision to apostrophize frogs is very clever because by humanizing these little animals you were able to appeal to our sense of empathy, thus showcasing the speaker's state of mind. One phrase that really sticks out to me is "on any other day." Our ability to feel compassion and desire to help others really is static. We may feel like heroes one day, but find ourselves callous bastards another. Today, I'm a little in the middle. Again, solid work Pins. Really enjoyed.

I wasn't immediately loving the first two lines, but shows what I know (not a lot) because I ended up really liking this poem, and once I'd read the whole thing I changed my mind about the first two lines, I think they're necessary (or at least important) for building the mood.

It's a very sad poem and extremely true. I'm probably not explaining myself very well, but this poem feels sad, but also optimistic because it's honest and concise.

In my opinion it would benefit from losing the "that" from the end of the fifth line, and the whole of the "Did not know better" sixth line, just from my reading those feel unneccessary and interrupt it a little.

It's a beautiful poem.

As another commenter said, this feels like a confessional which I Love. Lots of emotion spilling through. However, the reading for me was a little shaky at some parts because it came across callous (which I don't think was intended). I tried to pinpoint why and I think it comes down to these pieces :

On another day, I think I would have stopped For each and everyone of you,

I like the form of this sentence, but it makes killing the frogs seem like an especially egregious act if you would have stopped a car in the middle of the road a different day.

In combination with this as the reasoning for committing the act

And I had work that day In just a few hours;

And this part suggesting that even just slowing down could have helped

There was no time to slow down And save any of you.

Your attitude toward the deaths of the frogs feels a little flippant when the deaths are supposed to be an emotional fist to the face.

Wow very sad. I enjoyed it, but I agree it did seem more like the op was writing an apology letter to the frogs then really doing a poem. Reading it made me think a disturbing thought that just like the op drove over all those poor frogs, just by walking around were probably stepping on all sorts of life. Time for an apology to bugs and micro-organisms as well...

I didn't want to step on you, but I had to cross the grass...

If only you were smarter, you would have gotten out of my way so I could pass.

I feel like the two lines at the beginning are more of an authors prelog and then the poem begins, So I see no reason why people want you to remove the two beginning lines when I view them as more of a foreshadowing device I’m totally sympathetic to your plight OP. It sounds to me like the frogs violated the agreement You know

You drive They jump

The agreement of the road

Loved reading this, to me it sounds like the speaker is regretful about their lack of empathy in the moment, and is trying to make excuses and I feel a lot of sympathy for them. I agree with other comments saying the first 2 lines are unnecessary, in fact I think it flows better without them. I love the use of weeping for rain, I think that set the tone well. I think the use of frogs was smart because they’re an animal that many people like, but at the same time we thing of them as insignificant compared to ourselves.

Loved this poem! What I think you did especially well was perfectly capture the disillusionment and feeling of being done with the world that seems to come with age

On another day, I think I would have stopped

For each and everyone of you,

Getting drenched in the process.

But I am not young like that

Anymore

And I had work that day

In just a few hours;

There was no time to slow down

And save any of you.

Separating anymore on an entirely different line was a good choice imo because if you had put it together with "But I am not young like that," I'd have glossed over the word entirely and it still would have made sense. But putting the word alone on its own line really drives the point home and makes me think, "Oh, at one point, I would have stopped. I was like that once. I used to care more. But I don't - at least, I don't anymore..." which really resonates with me. Love it!

Maybe I’m reading too much into this poem, but the message behind it seems like us humans kind of forget about being mindful towards the little critters around us when we’re on the go. This guy had a moment to reflect, like wow I e just crushed dozen of these guys without a care. With that, there’s obviously some regret of not being mindful towards the frogs. Bert line was “you know me by own the warmth of asphalt.”

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Frogs are amazing. You did a great job, great word choice.

I like the first 2 lines.