To stand in a sandstorm. You know you must escape. But something about it. Is like a sweet embrace. Eventually it will take you. The pain. Or the storm. But at least you got to feel. The hug, it was warm. Pain is a way, we feel so alive. But at the end of the day. We are but a bee, in the hive.

A simple yet powerful take on the pain of heartbreak. The ending summarizes the gist of the poem well.

I like how you used two sentences for your first lines. It gives off the pace and rhythm for the whole work. Nice use of imagery per stanza! And personally, the poem was like a perfectly crafted arrow that went straight to my inexperienced heart. Bravo.

>The road was dark. The night was cold.

>Although surrounded by others,

>I feel as if I’m alone.

It's crazy how heart break can make you feel alone. I like the opening of the poem it makes me wonder was the writer talking about just a physical location by saying "the road was dark" or was it also describing a tumultuous relationship and the road it took to get to this point was dark?



>My body was sore. My heart even more.

>Although it has happened,

>It hurts to see this curtain close.

Doesn't matter how bad a relationship is or how it ends when you're the one who truly loved it always hurt to see it end. Even if your heart is hurt. I do wonder if this was all a casuse of domestic violence though. Why is your body sore? 


>The pain was sharp. The pain was growing.

>But no, I would never budge.

>You won’t ever see me frowning.

I love this! Being strong in a moment when we are weak is so powerful. And again it leads tback to domestic violence. This the writer finally stand up

Great job! The poem describes heartbreak nicely. Capturing the feeling of feeling alone. Awesome job.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

The road was dark. The night was cold.

Although surrounded by others,

I feel as if I’m alone.

&amp;#x200B;

My body was sore. My heart even more.

Although it has happened,

It hurts to see this curtain close.

&amp;#x200B;

The pain was sharp. The pain was growing.

But no, I would never budge.

You won’t ever see me frowning.

&amp;#x200B;

Yet my mind was tired. My soul was drained.

If this is what it takes,

I wish I never fall in love again.

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;

Comment 1:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vu6sia/comment/ifbsd49/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vu6sia/comment/ifbsd49/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

Comment 2:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vu0ywa/comment/ifbp8w1/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vu0ywa/comment/ifbp8w1/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

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