This hits very close to home. It's almost as if you put my own words into your poem. It's a harsh theme presented in a beautiful way. 

I love the reveal at the end, the poem starts out as if written by a friend but it's just the person talking to themselves and honestly, I've had the same conversation with myself a million times and more.

I enjoyed it a lot, thank you for posting.

Ah, fine words, balanced rhythn, only the regret put in the end with "guilty conscience" was a little fuzzy. It cut the strength. I like to imagine those two last lines with a totally contrary concept, something like pride or revenge or even indifference instead of guilt, and that "ever"  as a never instead.  But I'm only a poor mortal facing your creation from behind -or the wrong side.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

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Who am I to tell you to stay 

Your minds made up 

You will do it anyway 

But you have so much to live for 

Why can’t you see 

Look at the earth 

The stars, the moon and sea

Your friends all love you 

You don’t want to leave them 

What about your dogs

Whose gonna feed them 

If I was you 

I would think this all through 

The bottom of a bottle 

Isn’t a place for you 

You have so much more 

So much you could do 

I know who you are 

This just isn’t you 

What I don’t understand 

Is why can’t you hear me 

We stand in the mirror 

I know you can see me 

Answer my calls 

I know that you see them 

But at the end of the day 

I know you delete them 

This is your last chance 

I’m telling you it’s me 

But a guilty conscience 

Is all I’ll ever be 

Feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vuk92g/timeless/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vu80dg/chances_we_missed/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf

The Inevitable