Thank you , I’m happy it resonated with you

I usually try to break down the poems and explain what I like and why but this time I'm sorry I just can't. I'm feeling this piece in my core. This is what I have been living with for a while and you out to words for me. I'm sorry if you're going through this also. Thank you for writing this. First poem here to really move me.

Your poem is about a man who is in pain and struggling to cope. He apologizes for frightening the reader, but explains that he is just desperate and doesn't know what to do. The poem captures the feeling of hopelessness and despair that comes with being in pain. I think the simplicity of his statement - "I'm just a man going through pain" - is what makes it so powerful. There is no embellishment or attempt to make himself sound better than he is. He is just a man, in pain, and that is all. Nice work.

Thank you,  it means a lot. You really helped make it feel less worthless

For me, these lines stood out: 
- I don't even know the moments I'm supposed to cry
- please let me feel in this moment

What I'm getting out of this is that, not only is the narrator feeling the pain, but he is worried about SHOWING he is feeling the pain. That whole "men don't cry" thing maybe?

In my opinion, and it is just my opinion, a poem doesn't need to conform to any particular rules to be a poem. It just needs to convey emotion. And clearly yours does that.

If I had to offer any ideas, I might suggest removing some of the "extra" words, like "just a" in the title, or "hey there." But I feel like that would be trying to edit how you are conveying pain, which maybe defeats the point of this whole thing. Feel it how you need to feel it!

Thank you for sharing this. Showing us your pain.


Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look 

It’s a given that all those things are true which is why  it’s stated what your observing isn’t some masterpiece it’s just some writing from a person who was just hurting and not expecting anything. Just for you to know that they were feeling

I get it. Sometimes you want to just cut through the BS and get it down. I’d say let this simmer for awhile, sit in the depths and accumulate some barnacles & seaweed, and come back to it.

This is difficult to write criticism for as a poem without risking a denigration of the emotion and, I’m assuming, honesty behind it. I think of the latter as the fuel behind crafting the engine of a poem. To be frank, this series of diary/journal sentences shows no such craft, at least if it was intended as a poem. The energy behind it is raw, but it isn’t tied to any imagery, cadence, or composition that reaches outward to the reader. It’s written with the expectation that the pathos alone will keep the reader interested or engaged, like a gravitational pull constructed of obligation and sympathy. Newsflash: most of human experience is pathetic. Poetry is something more. 

I can’t qualify my feedback as “high effort” because, honestly, I can’t do the same for this submission.

Hey there,  please don’t be alarmed. I’m just a man going through pain 

I still remember all the wrong I’ve done. Yeah I take those demons to bed with me every night.

I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m just a man going through pain. I don’t even know the moments I’m supposed to cry
I don’t know the point in which all of this was too much. 

Sorry if I startled you , I’m just a man going through pain.

Please let me feel in this moment I don’t know when I’ll be able to do it again 
I have nothing. I’ve been stripped of everything dear to me. There’s nothing I need from you .
But before you go please just understand I’m just a man going through pain 


1. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vw11ei/washed_away/ifokoyt/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

2. https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vw6ykr/ode_to_forbidden_fruit/ifol6cz/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

Just a reaction