i'm genuinely impressed by the amount of rhymes you came up with without any of them feeling forced!

Trying to analyse this I think it is about a child being neglected by an abusive guardian;“nobody would feed me if not for myself”. 
The last line makes me think that the “shark”, being the guardian, is dangerous and unkind, but that the absence of a parental figure in the child’s life still has them searching. That’s my analysis, other then that it’s very lyrical beautifully written.

>Seasoned with expired love and calling vice

My favorite line though personally wish it was flipped. "Seasoned with vice in the form of expired love" well not exactly like that since it doesn't flow well but I'm sure you get the gist of it. You had a very nice flow at the beginning I personally feel like it fell off a bit towards the end but not enough to notake the poem enjoyable. I do wish to know what you were thinking when writing this piece. I get the vibe of someone who wants to be succeed with no support. Thanks for sharing.

Few lines yet so much imagery, and I also enjoyed the rhymes. Nice poem!

I relate to this one in many ways. Having to feel like that there is no one there for you, but yourself. Along with that, the opening reminds is a nice way to paint a 'raging storm' within oneself. nice job.


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Hurricane Grandeur flooded my mind

Painted my brain and swallowed my time

I climbed on a counter to reach the top shelf

Nobody would feed me if not for myself

Remember the bugs crawling through rice

Seasoned with expired love and calling vice

Those Lamentations were carved in the wall

They spoke of the steppes impending the fall

Written in tongues only known to the dark

Eyes of my ocean, where is the shark?

...

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/t9zqb5/i\_see\_you/hzxyfzc/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/t9zqb5/i_see_you/hzxyfzc/?context=3)

[reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ta07kz/the\_treasure/hzxxz8z/?context=3](https://reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ta07kz/the_treasure/hzxxz8z/?context=3)

Inside of Me