I like this a lot! The simplicity is a great choice. Blunt. 

In terms of rhythm, “meeting their untimely end” and “some jerk in a red Range Rover” throw me off.

Bluntness isn't easy sometimes and you have it down. poetry does not need to be this long epic detailed prose. I only would say the lines "But as I turned the curve and slowed / to stop my foolish little friend / meeting their untimely end" tripped me up a bit because of the image in my head. though bluntness is key in this poem I would love a few extra words to set the scene.

poetry doesn't always have to be about a deep and thought provoking topic and you proved that well, albeit in kind of a morbid manner but thats a good part of what makes this poem so good. I like it a lot


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NOOOO OMG this is HEART BREAKING. i love how simple and quick it is though seriously it’s really well written

poor turtle omg they’re my favorites :(

XDDDDDD why this feels like something so low effort but something really well made also? like the musicality I really like it 

i would like to see another one just like this its cool and funny

It has the sound of a children's playground ditty and also the surprising violence of one. Great job!

I love the bluntness of this poem! On the other hand, poor turtle :( I remember going out walking in my town a few weeks ago and seeing a baby turtle on the road, I came up close to it and found it had been run over fairly recently. The red Range Rover spoke to me as that's what several of my peers are obsessed with at the moment.

Agree with the others, blunt and darkly fun.

My only advice is that I get tripped up reading when I get to the line:

"Meeting their untimely end"

I'm forced to pause a second before reading "Meeting", as though a preceding "From" would have been nice to keep the flow.

Reconsidering while typing, I'm realizing that it actually works nice with the flow break... the momentary forced pause almost feels like it could be the moment the turtle was hit.

Then, I love the last two lines. I feel like there's a tone shift that starts with "Some Jerk" - as if everything before read in a classic/rhyme poetry kinda way, and then the last two lines cut the formal crap to cuss out the idiot driver lol.

I stopped for a turtle crossing the road to impress my five year old. I got out and put it in the field. She cried. Dad, it was going the other way. Now it will go back on the road and start all over.

Okay, *so what?* There is no surprising twist at the end. There is no real depth of character here. Is there symbolic importance to any of this that could be played up, or is it really just a real life anecdote about a 2-dimensional jerk in a Range Rover running over a turtle?

P.S. Don't try to stop turtles from crossing the road. If you are hellbent to intervene in the process of natural selection, make sure to carry them across in the direction they were already heading.

I saw a turtle in the road,

But as I turned the curve and slowed 

To stop my foolish little friend 

Meeting their untimely end, 

Some jerk in a red Range Rover 

Came and ran the poor thing over. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vyxnye/storm/ig5n7d2/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/vyudfi/i_would_like_to_have_you_for_dinner/ig5mo4p/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3

Turtle