Times I've Counted Seconds
I'm 31,
free falling between Froggatt bridge
and the Derwent river. Arrow plunge,
feet scrape the bone of the riverbed.
At 6,
I look up at sycamore seeds
getting dizzy, catching sunlight.
Lime green wings around my head.
At 19,
trying not to come, I think about the void
beyond the observable universe.
At 12
I make a black hole in the drywall,
knuckle-flap still white. I count
back from 10 as it wells red.
I'm 24,
she's not yet two, in the back seat,
skin blue, shallow breath, weak pulse.
Can't dial because of sweat.
15,
school shirt stuck to scabs.
One splits and makes a rosette
for everyone to see, like a poppy.
I'm 30
when the letter box clicks,
and something flutters to the floor,
which could be a council tax demand,
or a squashed heart signature
at the end of a letter that says
I'm glad you wrote to me.
At 5,
I wake up halfway through
an operation to remove
all four top incisors. Lights,
voices, rubber mask,
dry sweetness of gas,
count backwards from 10.
29,
that look that means kiss me,
even though we shouldn't.
Amber light, midges biting,
boot soles an inch above the grass.
16,
autumn, rasping flint wheel,
red face in the cherry glow on the back porch,
steady rain. Blue flash, 4 seconds, 4 miles.
6 again,
just a girl who's stopped to see if I'll get up,
blonde, braces, patent shoes, one flicked
as if there's a damp leaf on the end of it,
not hard, but she catches me just right
on the chin because my mouth opens
by itself and I can't close it, and I think,
will this fucking spit bubble ever burst,
she can see it and she's stopped laughing.
Age unknown,
I count snowflakes on my coat sleeve,
because I might spot two the same
before they disappear.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w2v99i/my_grandma_collects_dead_children/igtl7oz
Posted Jul 19, 2022, 8:08 PM UTC