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Ah yes the feedback mmm indubitably😂 the imagery I had was kind of trippy, I haven’t slept for 24 hours now, so that probably helped

This is quite nice. It really paints a vivid picture in my mind without being overt in its imagery.

I actually did try to structure it ( that’s why there’s random capitals throughout it now) but I when I posted it, it all just scrunched back together lol. The feelings I was expressing were definitely more forlorn. Thank you for reading it

Nature and the reasons why. The imagery is great, I think structuring the poem into lines could better help the message and lend itself better to the points of emphasis. Although, the train of thought style of it makes it more charming and gives it a different more reminiscent/forlorn mood (if that makes any sense). I really enjoyed it, great work!

I’ll edit it, I had it spaced out in lines (that’s whys there’s random capitals everywhere), but when I posted it it scrunched it all together

I am not used to poems written like this and I didn’t know when to pause or have a breath, but It just did it by itself. Very nice?

The sun is no brighter than the stars 


You just didn’t notice how much further it’s come


The ocean is starting to fill up my lungs


And the dirt was kicked onto me just for the fun


But the mountains saw you for they were higher than I, and they had told me that you couldn’t fly, 


I guess your wings were made from your utter lies

and the truth is only where the sun doesn’t shine


So I’ll drink the whole goddamn ocean as if it were wine, 
and float back off into space for a better life, 


while you tell all of the sticks and the stones that I’m the reason why.


Feedback: [https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w56ccn/gifted/ih6eo0y/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w56ccn/gifted/ih6eo0y/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)


[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w4je49/i_am_not_the_moon/ih6ed0d/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w4je49/i_am_not_the_moon/ih6ed0d/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

Nothing.