I like the way you transition from the description of the wind itself to the mental strife, i.e. when you say "thoughts made inside out." It's a very sudden jolt from external circumstance to internal imagery. That said, I also would like to know more about the "wind" itself! What do you mean to convey by the force of the wind? Is there some way you could explore a description of it beyond the tangible effects it has that reach your psyche? Or, if the wind is a placeholder for some psychological struggle or event, maybe it would be effective to clarify that by contextualizing the wind in a mental or emotional framework or setting. Love the way the poem flows! I enjoyed reading it several times over.


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Fight the wind for a breath, slowly as it comes through your body

It tears your spirit in two 

Can you hear the blood rushing through your eyes, into your mouth 

Draining your insides out 

Thoughts made inside out 

Throw a prayer for a suicide pact

Personality became a curated act

Knowing who you are by speaking to yourself,

No one is there for you anymore 

Now become a black hole mirror

Allowing ghosts to see through

They come with a dark debut

Sew your head shut so they can’t hear you

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w6dztq/first_time_poetry/ihdcdz3/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w6dexz/symphony_of_stars/ihdcibb/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

Black Hole Mirror