It feels like a collection of short poems. If that's what you wanted, good. But if you weren't going for a disjointed feel, I'd suggest making a thematic thread more clear between the first two poems and the last three.


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beautifully explained with profound and apt moments. Feels like a photograph but written. Way too epic

Honestly, I didn't think that far. It's a great fucking idea, which I will try to enact in later work, but I was just trying to get past my posting-nerves. Thanks, appreciate the feedback.

I like the format and each part stands on their own very well as short pieces. I wondered if there was going to be a message in the first line of each that was going to tie them together, and that was the idea behind the bold format. But I didn’t get that by the end.

Very well as separate pieces, but would love to understand more of the relationships between each. 

Well done, thank you for sharing.

i love the succinct simplicity of this- it's extremely powerful in such a concise way. my favourite section was the "leaves" poem- i'm quite partial to autumn so i may be biased, but the pace of which the cycle was described with was very interesting to read. great job!!

**Family** 

A close stranger. 

Clumped by fate's hands and fights. 

A circus of clowns. 

&amp;#x200B;

**AI**

Everyone-- replaced.

What are \[you\] without employment—

Error without worth.

&amp;#x200B;

**The First Winter** 

Gaze into the gray 

clouds; dandelions bellow down.

Muffled by windows. 

&amp;#x200B;

**Leaves**

Red, yellow, green

It all turns brown—falls.

Dead—crunch.

&amp;#x200B;

**On a Rock, I see** 

The ground split open,

fire raining; gold and ember. 

Fall coming alive. 

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w6khb0/comment/iheoqts/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w6khb0/comment/iheoqts/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

1st post.