It has imagery which I love but as you mentioned in a reply, it's supposed to be about your death in the future but it feels like it's a poem about the end of the world, doom. The poem is strong but weak cause it doesn't fill its purpose. Still love how you ended it though, but it could be worded better, even though idk how. Take this all with a grain of salt, I'm an amateur too


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Heyy I like that you’re into poetry anyways I qualify your interests you should hmu my chat never works :( bio has my info

It wasn't supposed to be apocalyptic but I can see how it reads that way. I meant it show that the setting of the poem was in the future. As if I were to grow old and die. I find it almost humerus though that my description of the future can be perceived as the end of the world.

i think the wording of it is a bit off in some parts: the now: a memory sequence in particular. it's a pretty good illustration of some apocalyptic scenario though <3

Ou i like the switch of pace from the begging to end. It was very joyous and « bigger life perspective thinking » into a more melodramatic blunt ending.

 

Fires Blaze, Oceans swell.

The moon still bleeds

Through the numb night.

&amp;#x200B;

Now: a memory.

No man, no body

No thought to force 

Unhappy stay.

&amp;#x200B;

I’ll bend my head back

This time - Neck snaps,

Eyes shut, body slumped

Over. I find Your God.

&amp;#x200B;

[Did I take my meds today?](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w6gayj/did_i_take_my_meds_today/ihdqhb4/?context=3)

[First poem written in a while - "Her."](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w6mvdo/first_poem_written_in_a_while_her/ihf29ap/?context=3)

Passing