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I think that this is a sweet poem which has a sentiment that is almost universally relatable. This is its strength and its weakness - there's an idea in poetry that, the more specific you get with your details, the more a piece will draw you in. I think that this poem is missing some of those key elements and instead settles for vague language in the second stanza. Particularly the "you were everything to me" - we don't know what "everything" here is, and why the stakes should be so high. This is a little bit of a shame, since the first stanza delved into some of those details quite well - the rollercoasters, the benches behind school etc. are nice details. I would also like to hear more about the partner, maybe.

However, I really like those last two lines. Maybe some of the more seasoned critics on this subreddit will find issue with them, but I genuinely think it's a nice, surprising subversion. It genuinely makes me want to know more about what happened and it's pretty effective in

This feels so nostalgic. I think everyone can relate to these experiences of finding magic in places around the school with the first person that sparked your fire. I really enjoy the line "backseat conversations trailing long after the engine noise faded". It creates a beautiful image in your head and also just sounds nice, creating a breakup in structure to the flow of the rest of the poem.

I'm struggling a little bit with the line "you were everything, everything to me". It just lacks depth in comparison to the other lines in the poem that are more colorful. And the repetition of "everything" here just feels slightly cliche. It is not bad by any means I just think you can take it to the next level! How is this person everything to you? What does "everything" feel, look, taste, smell, sound like? Young love feels so special, if you can describe how that feels here, you have the opportunity to hit your reader with even more of that nostalgic feeling you've built up throughout this pi

That was phenomenal! It reminded me of past relationships. Don’t worry you’ll find someone! “My mom still asks about you, I tell her we’re friends” hit home. I know what that’s like.

We met by those rollercoasters and scary rides 

Fell in love somewhere between a stop sign and some lockers

Your fingertips traced my skin for the first time 

Somewhere among the trees by the benches behind school 


Our tongues dueled behind stage curtains and set pieces we’d painted

Backseat conversations trailing long after the engine noise faded 


Young, bright-eyed unjaded love

Your every detail like melody

You were everything, everything to me


My mom still asks about you, I tell her we’re friends  

How I sometimes wish that were true


[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w9ug26/a_wonderful_angelhaiku/ihyan3x/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3) | [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/w9zn9c/the_map_to_hell/ihy9qym/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf&amp;context=3)

High school Sweethearts