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Thanks for the feedback and appreciate you seeing the play on rhyme structure. I never thought of it as a nod to the subtle variance in binary code which gave life to Ai but love that you saw that association.

I love the alliteration here. Marvelous! Although - you could restructure the poem and make it more symmetrical while still considering the broken elements of your style. Example - “then you became it, and it became so, their sweat had nowhere to go” has a three line connectedness. Before those lines, there is a 4 line connectedness. “Knew, stew, through, you”. I admire the parallelism of the a-b-a-b style. And the a-b-b style you have shown here - and if you kept it going - you can make the poem all the more brilliant by throwing familiar patterns in - and strange ones. Almost like a string of code. Considering your poem title mentions “AI”. Even if that’s not what you’re going for - or even if AI was a typo in your title - you certainly could make a poem out of this text - in relation to that.

They never knew,

the soup made the stew, 

the stew you chew through,

so every strained sinew became you.

Then you became it,

and it became so,

their sweat had nowhere to go.




https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wbhcfz/a_puddle_on_the_sidewalk/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wbglee/a_worldly_child/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=ios_app&amp;utm_name=iossmf

An Ai point of view