The Woman with a Pomegranate for a Heart

Wow! I loved it! Fantastic imagery and I think fairly relatable, as we all have seen someone who we think is just unobtainable or we fear what the future might be like with them. It really brought back the memories of when I first started dating, the fear of becoming attached and wanting to pull away because of it. I'm glad I fought through it unlike the narrator here though! Truly the thought of a woman sewing seeds into her clothes and them bursting and staining her clothes red with their juice was a phenomenal scene. Well written! As for "never got to savour" or "never got a taste" I feel like taste is quick and fleeting, while savouring is slow and lasting so use whichever one fits how you thought of the poem!

Hey OP, this was super awesome. I loved the imagery and that you carried your metaphor throughout very well.

As for your question as whether to use “taste” or “savour” at the end… I say go with savour. My reasoning is that you’ve already used the word taste once in the poem earlier. While using a word twice isn’t a big deal and repetition can be a super cool and fun tool, I feel like using the word savour gives me more feeling than to say taste. So if it fits the emotion you were going for I’d consider the change and see how it goes!

Very nice poem tho. Thanks for sharing!

This made me cry. I felt like I could really feel how she made you feel, that painful kind of love. I look forward to reading more of your work.

I absolutely love this.

Your language, imagery and poem in general, as well as your insistance on describing the smaller details reminds me of the poem “Hysteria” by T.S. Eliot: “ […] I was drawn in by short gasps, inhaled at each momentary recovery, lost finally in the dark caverns of her throat, bruised by the ripple of unseen muscles.”

Thank you so much for this poem. You obviously know what you’re doing and I honestly don’t have any further remarks. To me, this is excellent.

This is really good.

Really svelte-- if poems could be svelte.

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Uhm keep on writing! You totally surpass.

Wow. This is beautiful, and so is the imagery! I absolutely love this--I can feel the emotions you're trying to convey. <3

Wonderful poem!

I really liked how you took an idea, presented it like a journey to us.

Some rhymes that you used (Heart-tart, Shade of red - pomegranate, Feel- seeds) to hook two stanzas really kept the flow nice.

This is exactly what I feel every time I fall in love

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL I wouldn't change a thing tbh.

I don’t have time for a thoughtful comment but it’s very good and could definitely imagine seeing this printed in a poetry magazine or journal.

Love this, beautiful imagery 💜

This is a really beautiful piece, it's very relatable. I love the metaphor and how well it is carried through out. The seeds sewn on her sleeve (wears her heart on her sleeve?) Is a beautiful line and really describes the subject's personality and the aspects of the woman the author admires without it feeling at all as if it is all based on external beauty.

I think savour is the right choice of word, it evokes a stronger emotion in the reader.

Sometimes we learn to just enjoy basking in the sunshine of friendship. Our fear of losing the light

I love the commitment to a single metaphor and image. I often struggle with really exploring the depths of a single symbol and it makes my own work distracting and hard to follow. But this was just easy and kept rolling along expanding through each line.

I absolutely adore this poem. The genuine feeling of falling in love and the fear of what might come in the aftermath hits deep in the final stanza!

I loved your poem because I'm a pomegranate.

I love this. This poem kind of encapsulates one of my biggest values in life so it has a special place in my heart. I’ve bit my tongue for fear of being vulnerable and I never learned how much I was holding myself back from experiencing until it was almost too late.

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I love this 💕 You really should expand the ending..I felt it too abrupt and it's too good to end it abruptly... unless you make a part 2😀

Though this is indeed another poem related to lust and attraction, the reoccurring metaphor about the fruit pomegranate gives a good reoccurring theme that the reader can relate.

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Perhaps it is a showing how large the heart is, full of space for goodness and love.

Or perhaps the redness of the heart shows the passion that the person has.

Or even the seeds, similar to seeds produced during sex, to give off the theme of lust or love and family.

Yet, it seems that this is also meant that despite the size and the colour of the heart, these characteristics also make the writer fear it, almost like the writer is afraid of this new treasure