Waiting

I love poems like these. Open endedness plays perfectly to the anxiety it conveys. I loved reading this. I wish there was more I could say but any adequate words elude me at the moment. Please share some more in the future!

I like the open ended question and the shortness to it. Me having anxiety or doing something new or trying something new I can feel the anxiousness in the poem. Not knowing what to do while other people just do whatever

I really like how the structure of the poem itself is so short it is anxiety inducing. Very clever.

I really like the pacing of this poem and the kind of stream of consciousness flow of it. Something about the "while others / do / aghk! / unbearable / cruel" is super satisfying, like it just slightly rhymes (could imagine is as a rap tbh).

feels like me when i decided to eat a hotdog today or maybe when i decided to cry myself to sleep for others have such love and all i have is my hotdog

is hotdog one word?

Short lines make for abrupt ends which adds to the feeling of nervousness in the poem. It shows how an anxious brain just overthinks everything, looks for reassurance while self-assuring itself. The rhetorical questions which also seem to be desperate are beautiful and I like the piece a lot.

poems with a quick pace always invoke a feeling in me that i cannot explain, and this poem does so in a good way!

the quickness and almost shortness of breath reminds me of the times i am under extreme stress yet i find myself smiling at the relatability of it all. i like this one!

It's a very good representation of anxiety.

the pacing of this poem is really good! to me, it felt like the staccato heartbeat of someone who is suffering a bout of anxiety. part of anxiety is also needing constant reassurance, and i like how you incorporated that into your poem by asking the reader if this feeling is okay. also the admittance that the writers anxiety feels terrible, but they still want to be validated is also how it feels to be so used to anxiety that changing seems difficult. really well done

I don't know why but this poem made me imagine something strange. There's this man inside a flying ship on a balcony. He is surrounded by confused clouds. He's weak and he's not sure of anything. Then when you said "pace" I imagined him running against the wind in a park and when you said "aghk !" I imagined him on the balcony stabbed by some big metal needles. His pain in incredible but he calms. His blood is black and dark red but he kind of doesn't really feel the pain. Maybe he got punished for waiting or for wanting.

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[deleted]