Thanks a lot this really helped me understand what could elevate this poem and others onto the next level.

I like the succinct style of this poem, but I do think the use of the text styling could use some work. I like that it's all lowercase. I tend to do that with shorter poems myself for styling. The italics and bolding of the word real, while I understand why you did it, doesn't mesh very well imo. What about trying it this way:


dying is **real**, man    
lying is **real**, man    
*real* is **man**    
*heal* this **man**    


Basically, I first put the lines closer together so it looks more connected and aesthetically pleasing. I know reddit formatting is a bit strange but just in case you weren't aware, line breaks are achieved by adding 4 spaces at the end of each line. Using double return keys separates them into paragraphs.


I also made it so that the first two lines put emphasis on real being used in what I think is the same definition. But then I see that you switched the meaning of real in the third line, so I used italics instead of bold, but made "man" bold to emphasize it


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dying is real man

lying is *real* man

**real is man**

heal this man

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wpjrwn/the\_millennials\_plight/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wpjrwn/the_millennials_plight/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wph0jb/divided\_connectivity/?utm\_source=share&amp;utm\_medium=web2x&amp;context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wph0jb/divided_connectivity/?utm_source=share&amp;utm_medium=web2x&amp;context=3)