hair danced ballet
on her shoulder-tops,
giving way, bit by bit
to the light of the setting sun.
she asked what I thought;
shy and caught, I uttered
“it’s a beautiful day.”
summer cicadas sang
as a piece of her fell away;
before long, all was gone,
taken by the decay
of unspoken words.
Posted Aug 17, 2022, 3:21 PM UTC
This feels like the memories of a long lost summer love. I was reminded of one when I read this. I love how sharp and precise this is, kind of like the hair doing ballet on her shoulders.
Really enjoyed this!
I love the imagery of the hair dancing on her shoulders. Feels whimsical to start and then followed by the bitter sweetness of not saying how we truly feel and missing out on something because of it
Simplistic and complex. Rad example of how to express a feeling that resonates without getting abstract/overly artistic
I love the way this poem captures the feeling of having romantic feelings for someone, and maybe having that inkling of that maybe they feel the same, but you're so scared of how they might react that you, as the ending says, leave "words unsaid" and I think it succintly captures that feeling with words. The imagery is powerful, with the sun and the hair.
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