AITA for a unfollowing a friend whose bf was trying to start drama?
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Posted Aug 18, 2022, 1:17 PM UTC · locked
1515
NTA - you aren't loosing a friend over nothing, you are choosing to not hang out with someone who chooses to be in a relationship with someone that weirds you out. It would be one thing if you could be friends with her and ignore him, but it sounds like SHE isn't letting that happen (possibly due to him being super controlling or something, but that is a separate issue).
You get to choose who you have in your life, but so do they. If they choose someone that you don't, sometimes hard choices have to be made, like this one. NTA
5
You say that it sucks to lose a friend over nothing. That was the second to the last sentence of your post. So basically, you are admitting to ending the friendship over nothing.
You answered your own question at the end of your post.
4†
Fair enough. I say nothing but if anything its because I don't like confrontation and it seemed like none of these people wanted me around them anymore anyways
3
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So, my [20M] friend started dating this guy a few weeks back but they were on and off before that. When I met the guy before, he was being weird and possessive so I decided to cut contact as much as possible with them when they started dating this time. This morning, I got a message from her that seemed strange but I responded as neutrally as possible and basically just asked questions the whole 5 minute convo. At the end of it, her bf send voice messages and was just really weird about it. He basically told me to not be so funny and that she was his.
At that point, this felt like some middle school drama so I decided to just unfollow them both on all socials because frankly I don't have time for that kind of drama. I found the whole situation really strange since I hadn't even chatted with either of them in a long time and i've been nothing but a respectful friend throughout our convos including this one. Not sure why he felt threatened by me but it does suck to lose a friend over nothing. Anyways, AITA for cutting her off over something her bf did?
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1
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
1- So I cut off my friend because of the strange interaction I had with her new boyfriend. 2- I believe I may be the asshole because I cut her (an unrelated party from the actual confrontation) off rather than addressing the issue to her or dealing with him. I've been informed that my action may have been wrong because I jumped right to ending a friendship rather than making any attempt to work through the issues, and I could see that.
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1
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1
YTA
I mean, you didn't even inform her of what happened? Just blocked someone you call a friend for something someone else did?
-4
She was in the convo. They messaged me together from her account. The whole situation was strange because she was acting friendly like everything was normal while he was telling me to back off.
4
If she was part of that conversation and let it happen then NTA, but I'm a bit confused now.
0
I am too. Thats why i'm on here. I have no idea why she'd start a conversation with me out of nowhere just to let him treat me that way. The whole situation was odd and i'm a bit of an overthinker so I thought reddit would be able to give me new perspectives on the situation.
2
You don't really sound mature enough to have friends....
-6
Why do you say that?
4
Because you said yourself it was like middle school drama.. & real adult friendships aren't based on follows in social media.
-6
This was an online friend though. So we only communicated through social media. What felt like middle school drama was when the guy told me to stop talking to her despite me basically having done nothing to get in the way of their relationship. My reaction was to distance myself and cut communication since it seemed like my presence was no longer wanted. How should I have reacted in your opinion?
7
So your friend’s bf texted you from her phone. You had previously backed off a bit from the friendship because the new bf was acting oddly. You decided you have no need for drama-filled relationships and unfollowed them on socials.
Frankly, you’re doing this correctly unless there’s some big info missing from your post.
The friend and her bf ARE behaving as if they’re in middle school, while you’re trying to be more adult. NTA. At all.
Unfortunately, you’re losing a friend because they’ve decided to date someone who sounds very immature and insecure. Good luck to you.