Source
r/OCPoetry•
CenPerk

Still very new. Just something I felt today

Poem

Do you miss me, like I miss you

Do you check your phone at every vibrate hoping that it's me?

I know I do

I pray it's you

Does your heart sink to your stomach if I comment on another's post

Mine does

Each and everytime I wish that I was on your mind instead of a girl I can

never compete with

Do you miss me, like I miss you?

Is your head hurting because you run through every scenario morning, noon, and night?

Hurting because you keep going over our final fight?

All the things we could have, and shouldn't have said

Do you miss me, like I miss you?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wsft9n/untitled_as_of_now/ikzq378?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/wsczb8/cerulean/ikzq80h?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

Posted Aug 19, 2022, 10:07 PM UTC · edited

87
liittle_dove7•

I really enjoy your voice in this poem. There’s a calm honesty and pain echoing throughout but especially in your opening lines. Those reeled me in. There’s something truly tragic being the person who cares more in a relationship. You’re left wondering if that care will ever be reciprocated and usually it’s not. Thank you for sharing. It’s a very relatable experience.

2
seviz77•

In my opinion, repetition can get kind of boring, but you managed to do it really well! The line "Do you miss me, like I miss you?" Is absolutely something that fills your mind all of the time when bad breakups happen, and you managed to encapsulate that feeling in your poem. :)

2
[deleted]•

[deleted]

2
ayyyy_uhhhh•

I have been there before, ah that vibrate and frantic scatter to see if it’s them, great poem!

2
CosmicInkSpace•

Even with the repetition, it flows very nicely. It does a good job expressing the tumultuous headspace and the scatter brain.

2
Blues-Method•

To me, this is a snapshot of youthful vulnerability, and I respect you for putting it out there (here). I think this is a feeling that everyone can relate to - a universal hurt, if you will.

2
AutoModeratorMOD•

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1
AutoModeratorMOD•

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1