Source
r/OCPoetry•
forknite35

past 6 months have been horrible, so i decided to start writing poetry.

Poem

context: drugs, loosing my best friend(girlfriend), and growing up. the second to last one is about me becoming okay with who i am slowly. im very curious as to what you guys think about this collection. enjoy

i feel like i’m constantly taking a deep breath that i cannot finish, a hill i cannot climb, part of me ripped away im the blink of an eye and i had to way of putting it on paused or slow it down to adjust. she took everything from me and replaced me before i was gone.

empty hollow glass, shatter down my spine drips red fluid foreign to me porcelain mask porcelain friends stomped on turned dust that blows in the wind

teeth as white as snow tainted by yellow glass panes. a puddle of oil slithers and snakes with fluorescent colors. stained white shirt now dirty with memories from a life that is no longer mine

for centuries we spoke a language more than love for years we shared many memories for days we spent time together admiring our future for hours we hugged and kissed just to have to forget in 60 seconds

i remember how in love we used to be (my saddest poem)

my pillow wet with a thousand tears, each one containing the words i don’t know how to say. in my bed i lay, hoping one day it will be the same.

as we grow older i see the quirks i used to not understand i have grown so fond of you my little angle, the reason i try. my darling, my everything. one day we won’t cry

it is you whom i belong with. we fight we fuss we argue, but i will never be homesick

standing in line for cotton candy at the fair with the sweetest intentions. at the stand the man asks for $3 and i oblige, “anything for my darling” i think to myself. the man hands me the biggest cotton candy cone over ever seen! “she’s going to love this” i think as i start walking towards our meet up spot, then it started raining.

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Posted Aug 20, 2022, 6:53 AM UTC · edited

206
tofi_creative•

I resonate with this a lot, and thankyou for sharing. Confessional poetry is the hardest kind and you are brave to undertake it. I am sorry that such creativity is often born of our saddest moments.

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perfnat•

the last line crushed me like porcelain that was insane

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Its_a_bad_time•

I really felt your pain in nearly each stanza. You meld immediateness and pain, mirroring what I can tell you are feeling with a sudden break up. Sudden pain is artfully described by you here... It brings back memories for me of having felt that way too at one time.

I almost remember those times with a weird fondness now that you have made me reflect on them. I wish you the best. Hopefully one day you can see this as a time you felt so strongly you found your inner strength too. It will get better. You are talented, the world is better for you being in it and sharing your self.

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kitzxu•

I love the way you write! "Porcelain mask porcelain friends" got me GOOD

And as sad as the 2nd one is, I adore the end.

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SwishaMan13•

Very skilled at portraying how a long term break up feels, you clearly thought about this a lot

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